I've realized in recent days that regardless of my schedule, writing needs to be a priority in my life.
I love writing.
It makes me process things in a healthier way.
It makes me take the focus off myself and put it on things that matter.
It makes me happy.
So whether it's something I journal, or something I type out (which personally is MY preference... I can think through things faster since I type ten million times faster than I write)... I WILL be writing more. Who knows if you care but I care so there it is :)
Things that made me smile today:
- My husband coming home.
Ok seriously. I'm not even going to lie to you and pretend like we have the most perfect marriage and that our love story is a better fairy tale than Fern Gully... not even close. Sometimes I can't stand my husband. Sad, but that's the honest, raw, truth. And I'm sure he feels the same way about me. (Thank the LORD he hates writing or else you'd have a TON more to read about me on HIS blog...) No but seriously. Tons more. But regardless... sometimes he can be so annoying and so picky that you just wanna pull your hair out.
BUT.
(and that's a big butt.)
As annoying and picky and critical and weird as he can be... I really can't explain it... I'm CRAZY about him. I love him to death. He loves me so perfectly the way I need to be loved. Obviously not perfectly like on the GOD level... but perfectly in that, sometimes I'm SO reminded how much God loves me IN THE WAY THAT Billy loves me.
His amazing qualities FAR outweigh his "UGH" qualities and for that I'm so so so grateful and THAT is what I'll focus on when the going gets tough. (And believe me, it FREAKING HAS.)
But that's ok. Not that the current statistics can prove anything... *cough yes they can cough*... but marriage obviously isn't just love and flowers and amazing sex and lingerie and rainbows and chocolate and holding hands and poems and looking perfect all the time every second of every day. If you believe that, you're unbelievably in for a let-down.
Anyways... the amazing qualities that I adore about him are the reason why him coming home to me after a long day of work is one of the best parts of my day. Every time. It's been a year and a half and I'm not just saying this... I love, admire, and respect my husband more than I did when I met him 946 days ago. (Hahaha, I'm just kidding, I'm not keeping count of the days... promise.) ;)
He loves me well.
He tells me when I'm doing something that bothers him.
He's SO quick to forgive and forget and not bring it up in a future disagreement.
He's SO careful with his words when he gets upset... and never says anything he'll regret.
He's so affectionate and sweet. Though he lacks in the flowers department, he makes up for it TEN FOLD in the way he holds me and hugs me and loves me. Ugh he's the best.
I don't know why I ended up posting about this. This wasn't my intention at all. And maybe you think I'm bragging but I'll end with this:
My husband has taught me some of life's most VALUABLE lessons that I never would've learned if I were living this life flying solo.
Not to speak negatively about the single life - oh my LANTA if y'all single people knew the joy of the freedoms that come with being single, you'd jump up and down 100 times for joy.
Seriously, relish where you are.
Marriage is so beautiful, but I can honestly say that it's more CHALLENGING than anything and it STRETCHES you more than anything and it makes you see your UGLINESS more than anything and that's ok.
There are pros and cons to each phase.
But where you are, be there and choose joy and don't wish your life away dreaming dreams that you think are bigger than your today's. You might not get to tomorrow, so why on earth spend your last day wishing for a better tomorrow that might not ever come?
Blah this is so random. But it's good. I feel my fingers warming up again to the inspiration flowing in me. I spoke in my previous blog about some things God had been doing in my life over these last few months and I'm excited to expand more on those things. They're HUGE and SO RELEVANT to my life today that sometimes I want to shout it from the rooftops.
At the same time, however, God is showing me different things in different places of my life. First and foremost my faith, as I shared earlier. Then in my marriage, which I'll probably share with you later. I'm going to share stuff that we did terribly wrong and uncharacteristically right in some cases. All gold, believe me. Also - I wanna touch a little bit on this nagging bit called insecurity and share some of the dreams God's given me. Along with sharing life as a UPT wife... how Pilot Training and living on the border has affected me positively and negatively.
Well WOW. So much to share. Who knows if I get to it all. But like I said... it's so freaking good to be back.
Currently Reading: So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore - ooooo wow.
Currently Loving: Pinterest. And "Never Once" by Matt Redman. It's right down here... do yourself a favor and listen to it because it will give your heart hope.
