::Reflection::

Dear World.
This is so weird.
So... just to jump right into the oddity that has recently occured... I've heard the same story twice in a span of one week, and I'm beginning to think I need to bend my life around it. I first heard it Monday night at a meeting called FCA, a girl was giving her testimony and included this story to help describe what God had been teaching her. It was pretty benthic.
THEN.
This morning, as I'm sitting at work, the CEO of my company, who is also like a second father to me, called me up and asked to see how I was doing as he had just heard the news of some recent events that have taken place in my life that might give me reason to be sad... and as I'm sitting here, on the computer, at the beginning of my work day... he shares the EXACT SAME STORY with me!! :)

God is so funny.

So. I felt like blogging it out and sharing my heart. Basically the story goes something like this:

There is a Christian writer who calls up
this Blacksmith and wants to see how he purifies silver and
gold. At first the blacksmith declined, but then finally agreed to let
this writer in on the procedure. The writer goes in to observe the process and is amazed at what he discovers:
First, the blacksmith took the silver and
put it in the hottest part of the fire. The writer observed as the
blacksmith kept it in the hottest part of the fire for quite a little while. He then asked the blacksmith when he knew the silver was completely purified and could then take it out of the fire... and the blacksmith replied, "I know the silver or gold is completely pure when I can
see the reflection of my face in it."

...

Ok so my story-telling skills are not far off from completely lame... and I wish you could hear this story being told in person... but regardless, it really touched me. I hope you can maybe see the parallel in the way God sometimes relates to us. Sometimes we may feel like God might be putting us through "the hottest part of the fire..." and it sucks. It hurts. It's painful. Maybe physically; maybe emotionally.
It can leave us questioning God.
It can even leave some in a state of being really angry at God.
Why would He do this to me? How could He let this happen? What did I do to make God angry at me?
...

All the while He's just up there, locking His gaze on us moving, pushing, polishing and refining; dying to see His reflection in our lives. He wants us to be like Him. He wants us to conform ourselves into His image. I love that. :)
So the whole time we're down here, wallowing in our self-pity, feeling lonely, depressed, upset, and completely helpless. God's up there, His hand fully on us, guiding us, holding us, changing and conforming us into the people He wants us to be.

And I can promise you... the outcome is better than our current state. (Pinky promise.) :)

So ya. Life's confusing right now. I'm horrible at remembering that I don't know what the future holds... will never know what the future holds.... and knowing in my heart that it's probably better that way.
But it's ok. I wouldn't say that what I'm going through in my life right now can be compared to something like the "hottest part of the fire..." but it definitely is a struggle for me. It's something that could definitely be considered a burden and is something I hate having to deal with.
But it strengthens me. It grows me. It leaves me more dependant on God than if everything in my life was perfect. It keeps me *needy*.... which I'm discovering is a place I always want to be in my life.

I was sitting at work today and started writing this on a piece of paper. Its pretty much just a bunch of Bible Verses - promises if you will - that are all bundled into one little heart-cry. :) Here's what I wrote. And I decided I'm going to continue doing this... because when you put the verses together it becomes more than just words you can recall from memory, but it becomes actual TRUTH and flows and can really become what your heart really feels! Amaaaazing:)

Dear Lord,
I'm going to trust in You with all of my heart.
I'm not going to lean on the things that I understand.
I acknowledge you in everything I do, and trust in You alone to direct my path because You know the plans You have for me.
You plan to prosper me, give me hope, a future, and keep me away from harm.
You've given me all I need for life and Godliness, and You will fulfill Your purpose for me.
You give me the desires of my heart as I delight in You.
You will never leave me or forsake me.
You lift me high on wings like eagles as I wait on You.
You are my strength and my shield.
You hide me in the cleft of Your rock and I can rest under Your wing.
You knit me together in my mother's womb and know the number of hairs on my head.
You think about me more than the number of stars in the sky, and have formed me in Your image.
Your banner over me is Love.
I receive everything I need when I first seek Your Kingdom.
You can move mountains, walk on water, and overcome sin and are mighty to save.
My soul finds rest and peace in You alone, Lord, and I rejoice in the fact that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other thing can EVER separate me from Your love. :)

*I'llbeback*
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Listening: "Hide and Seek" - Imogen Heep//// "Holy" - Jason Morant (a new favorite...)
Reading: "One thing you can't do in heaven" - Mark Cahill. (A book about evangelism... pretty good stuff.) "Pursuit of God." - Tozer. (I can read this book over and over and over again...) Romans, 1 John.