:::Life:::

I'm currently sitting in my bed... my husband left for work over an hour and a half ago and it's been just me since. So, I figured, let's write something :)

There are many words that can accurately describe how I've felt over the past week or so.

It hasn't been the most THRILLING, adventurous time of my life by any means... I mean, there aren't too many thrilling moments when you throw a tiny town, one vehicle, and absolutely zero money in the mix. (Oh newlyweds *smile*) Those items can limit any sense of adventure you might have.

This is in no way a blog to complain about my life.... I've married the most amazing man who literally continues to amaze me in the way that he loves me, I'm truly a very blessed woman.

No, this blog is to celebrate. Celebrate the fact that in the midst of my seemingly simple life.... in the midst of my change of beautiful Colorado Scenery and in the midst of this new distance between me, my family and best friends in the world.... in the midst of all that change.... He stays the same.

That's hope that you can count on... regardless of location or circumstance. Regardless of change.

Change requires adjustment.... and it's not always the easiest thing in life to deal with. There's a quote that I love about change:

If you don't like something; change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

Yes, change the way you think about it. It's attitude. It's perspective. It's learning that your way... may NOT actually be the best way. It's realizing that you don't need constant fireworks and busyness in order to be happy and feel successful.

In the midst of all this change... in the midst of moving my life to this teenytiny town in Texas... God is showing me and teaching me many things.

First, is that the blessing of marriage is more than just romance and amazing sex. (Though both those things are wonderful and necessary... making a simple town less boring:) I'm learning that marriage was one of God's best ideas; a mirror of His initial idea of oneness and unity. It's really beautiful. I'll expand on that idea in a different post because I truly believe in it and see the necessity of it... but in all seriousness, marriage is such a blessing!!

I'm quickly learning though that our selfish nature is dumb. And SO alive and active inside your heart unless you make a conscious, daily effort every day to die to yourself and allow the Spirit of God to live in you and through you.

How creepy does that sound, huh? The "Spirit of God." I sometimes would LOVE to get inside the head of a non-Christian, or even a baby Christian who hasn't grown up with all the terms, like "The blood of the Lamb" or "Holy Spirit" or "Jesus is the son of God" or "Eat His flesh and drink His blood, in remembrance of Him..." ahh that stuff sounds crazy!!

Haha poor people that get unknowingly thrown into the mix of it all... I can't imagine how scary everything that I believe in sounds to people!

I believe every word of it though, and living in this more challenging phase of my life has tested those beliefs through and through.

- Do I really believe God is who He said He is?

- Do I really believe in the Holy Spirit?

- Do I really believe in dying to myself and living for Him?

- Do I really believe He never leaves me or forsakes me?

- Do I really believe we don't wrestle against flesh and blood?

All these ideas have continued to be refined in me over time and it's been a ride. It's amazing what God will do with your heart when you step out of your comfort Zone for a minute or two.... or in my case, for the rest of your life.

I'm thankful for this time, though occasionally seemingly difficult, because I've learned more about myself and had to "grow up" more in the past few months than I have in a loooooooong time of living in beautiful Suburbia Colorado Springs :)

I'm learning that I need Him so badly - more now than ever before. He is my life, He is my living water, my sustainer, my healer, my redeemer, my best friend. The most loyal, loving, patient, kind, honest, perfect person I will ever know in my life. I've tried functioning without Him - and all I am without Him is ugly, impatient, mean, unloving, selfish, and sad.

I know this sounds so "cliche" but... Jesus is life.

He really is. And I want everything that He is...