:::ONE YEAR!:::

*Disclaimer: Cheeseball alert - all cynics read no further... you've been warned. :)

Happy *ONE YEAR* Anniversary to the love of my life...

WE DID IT!!! :)

~~~~~~~~

"Love is a temporary madness.

It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.

You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.

That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine

<3

It's been one crazy, fun, amazing, life-changing year.

From the day I met Billy on my 19th birthday in 2008 to TODAY has been a total of 3 years and 19 days.

I love him more today than all those 3 years & 19 days combined.

My husband is incredible.

Not only is he SO fun to look at...

but he is SO wise.

He's patient beyond what I deserve.

He loves me - not just with words, but with his touch, his attention, his glance, the time he spends with me.

He leads me SO well.

He is teachable and open to advice from older, wiser men.

He's so honest and so easily vulnerable with me.

He's so SAFE - when he's around I'm not scared (unless he's trying to scare me.)

He's such a MAN - in his heart, in his thoughts, in his ideas, in his build. I love the incredibly strong, secure manliness that is Billy Stainback.

He makes good decisions.

He makes me laugh.

He's my best friend.

The first 7 months of our marriage were nothing short of insane.

We traveled to 28 different places in a span of 7 months... which means we lived out of a suitcase for 7 months... bizarre for newlyweds, I must admit.

The last 5 months were nothing short of THE WAY MARRIED LIFE SHOULD BE. :)

We got our house - made it a "home" - got into our routine with our jobs and schedules, he came home from work, I made dinner, we'd laugh & talk over our evening meals, sharing our experiences from work and our friends, and end up at the end of the day in each others arms again. :)

We've made wonderful friends, and we've missed some wonderful friends, but all this year we've had one constant, solid thing in our lives and it's been each other... and oh my word that is so MORE than enough for us. :)

We've had our incredibly stressful times, and we've had our incredibly blissful times.

We've had our very happy moments, and our very sad moments.

We've learned, we've grown.

We've changed and we will continue to change towards learning to love and serve each other better.

But regardless of the change - regardless of the growth - perhaps one of my favorite things about marriage is that at the end of the day... regardless of what type of day it was...

I end up next to Billy Stainback, and that alone makes my heart leap with joy and gives me so much peace...

I sometimes still can't believe that my days will begin and end side by side with this incredible man... FOREVER.

I LOVE my husband.

With my WHOLE heart.

I can't imagine a better man for me, a better fit.

I look forward the many memories we will make together... to watching his dreams come true as he becomes an official Air Force Pilot... to having children with him and watching his eyes light up as he holds his children for the first time... to having him hold me and wrap his massive, loving arms around me when we go through hard times together... to making parenting decisions on what to do when our kids don't come home by curfew... to growing old with him, holding our grandchildren one day.

Ah. :)

God is so ridiculously good to me.

This has been the best year of my life.

I can't wait for the rest of our adventures as Mr. & Mrs.

<3

Billy ~ I love you more than words can express.

You are better than the man of my dreams and I can't wait to love you and serve you and follow you and encourage you for the rest of our lives.

One year down... A MILLION MORE TO GO!!! I'm so glad that our roots are entwined forever. :)

Love, your girl.

:::Random Plug:::

I'm sitting here, in my sisters bedroom, listening to Jillian Edwards' music and loving everything about being in Colorado - minus the part where I'm missing my husband HEAPS&HEAPS. He is the other half of me and quite honestly - away from him I feel incomplete.

Head over heels in love is quite the understatement.

Sorry for the randomness. I just need to throw this out there.

HUSBANDS ROCK. Marriage rocks. Jesus rocks EVEN MORE for thinking of the idea. I love that fact that I don't have to live life on my own... I have a real, incredible person that adores me and wants to know me so thoroughly. I'm grateful for him and I'm grateful for the grace of God that has blessed me so immensely.

RANDOM PLUG:::: over&out.

::Hello 22::

The last few hours of being 21 years old - WOOOOOW.

Is it just me or has this past year FLOWN BY?

I can't believe I'm 22. I used to think to myself, "You know, I'm gonna probably DIE before I get to age 16 because that just seems so far away."

And now, age 16 is in my rearview mirror by SIX YEARS. Crazy crazy crazy.

It's so weird to be able to say now that, "I get married when I was 21..." because I won't be 21 anymore. Tracking? That's just so bizarro to me.

Anyways.

What a HUGE YEAR in my life. Probably the most challenging, fulfilling, and life-changing year that I have experienced up until this point.

I think I've grown more in the last year than in all my 21 years before that combined. Honestly. I've never been so challenged in my beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, decisions, and attributes of my faith:

What the Year 21 brought:

a new marriage.

a new home.

new friends.

new places that we traveled to.

new skills - aka, cooking, decorating, etc.

new hobbies.

new job.

new goals.

new challenges.

new growth.

new dreams.

new love.

SO. MUCH. NEW.

Which of course means - saying goodbye to the old.... to Colorado, to my best friends, to my family, to my old job, to my old hobbies, to my old dreams.

Still can't believe the changes that happened in my life... turning 21, to getting married, to moving away from the state and family I love so much, to learning and growing with this incredibly attractive, wonderful man that I promised to spend the rest of my life with... to traveling the MOST places in the SHORTEST amount of time, to finally having my own house to care for, decorate, and love.

WOW. So much growth, so many steps taken.

It's been a beautiful, rocky road as my first year of being a wife - with the new victories and obstacles that come with that title and that union - and I must say that, when looking back on all that has happened, this year can be summed up in a single question of God saying, "how deep, wide, and far will you trust Me?"

He is Yahweh. He is Emmanuel. If my greatest fear is being alone I should never be afraid because His promises stand true. I know this year He has tested my faith, cradled me in His arms, and guided me into a deeper knowledge of and relationship with Him.

Up until this year of being 21, I had always had a picture perfect relationship with Jesus - genuine to some degree but absent of the reality of how much I really needed His grace.

Absent of the knowledge of, with out Him, I am truly a messed up, unworthy, pathetic person.

This year has proved to me that without His grace & undending love... I am nothing.

I know that sounds SO cliche, and I'd LOVE to go into the gory details that remove the "cliche-ness" of the journey He's taken me on to get to this true, vulnerable, new realization... but some details I'd rather die than post publicly to be honest, and others are probably too boring for you to even care about

But it's been REAL. And it's been Rocky.

This year has been FAR from easy - but it's also been FAR from words like boring, uneventful, stagnant, and regular.

Not only have I been challenged in my faith but I've been challenged as a PERSON - which I understand go hand in hand, but I like to separate the two to see exactly where I've been "pruned" so to speak and where I've grown: in my patience, in my trust (in people & in God), in how I handle my weaknesses, in my love.

The words change & growth typically go hand in hand (at least, hopefully they do...) and both words in and of themselves involve some type of pain at times, some type of life adjustment.

For us... the adjustments have been HUGE.

Meshing two families together - meshing two very different HUMANS together.

Talk about change. Talk about dying to yourself & living for another person. It's unbelievable to me how God planned this life to be - and yet He continually blows my mind with how wonderful it is, regardless of how many things needs to be adjusted.

Despite the drastic time difference from high school days til' now - there are quite a few things that haven't "changed."

For instance, my family. Still there for me, still so supportive. Still crazy with their own little quirks. Still forever loving me & my new husband, and supporting this Air Force life that we've chosen.

And my best friend. Now, I'd be lying if I said those relationships haven't changed... because they've changed a LOT over the years. People grow & people drift, and that's the inevitable truth that I've come to not only accept but embrace... we all change. But my best friend hasn't. She's loved me and encouraged me all the same throughout the years. She pursues my hearts, asks questions that open the deepest parts of me and loves allllll the ugly that she sees. Despite the distance, despite the years we've been apart now, she hasn't changed and for that I'm so blessed.

Colorado Springs hasn't changed. It still takes my breath away every time I drive into the city/step off a plane into the city. One of the most beautiful, stunning places on earth - this little city at the foot of a majestic mountain range.

Finally - but most importantly, God hasn't changed. Duh. He knew me, loved me, and guided me through my high school days and does the same in my phase of life now - regardless of the whirlwind of change happening around me. He is a solid rock. He is immovable. He is TRUTH regardless of what anyone or anything tells me. I'm so blessed for these 22 years He's given me on earth & am so excited to see what happens next.

So... here's to age 22. Who knows where I'll be living next... who knows what plane my husband will fly? Who knows the this age will bring... a baby perhaps? New wonderful friends? New struggles & challenges? Sometimes when I think about the future I get scared, and it probably has to do with the fact that I'm not so optimistic about it all the time... but I know it the depth of my heart that whatever this age brings... I'll be ok.

God loves me & He already knows.

I'm choosing to trust my unknown future to an all-knowing God... who loves me.