The weather is GORGEOUS outside.
Sunshine:) I love it.
Colorado is the best state... during the summer. (When there is no snow). It's so beautiful and refreshing. You wake up and smell the fresh, mountain air and it's seriously so amazing. I'm so blessed to live here.
Life is awesome right now. I just got a new job that I think I'm really gonna like... I'm excited! My family is doing wonderfully... growing up really fast and it's crazy to watch. Jesus is still very alive (haha... I almost say that as if it's a surprise...) and moving a lot in my heart. My friends are ok... probably the biggest struggle in my life right now. But there are still people in my life... all who happen to be oversees/outside the USA at the moment.... (aka Canada, Norway, Australia, Hawaii...) who are still such dear friends of mine and so close to my heart, supporting me and loving me and I'm so grateful for them!! My boyfriend is nothing short of absolutely amazing and loves me so well, he's incredible. He just found out his job in the Air Force... to be a pilot!! His dream for a long time!! I'm so happy for him and so proud of him!! So life is great there.
I'm recovering rather well from my culture shock stage... getting my feet back on the ground and getting my heart set once again fully on my King. He's so gentle and patient with me though, I'm so so grateful and so undeserving. I went to my mentor's house on Sat. night, and her husband led my boyfriend and I through a Bible study through Romans which was awesome... her husband is an anointed teacher and I'm SO BLESSED to have people like them in my life!! Life is so good!!
To be honest though, my heart is still kinda restless. I was praying today as I drove to work for God to ignite a fire in me again... I want Him to awaken dreams and visions in my heart. I want to be passionate about something. Seeing my boyfriend find out he was going to be a pilot yesterday, a dream of his since he was a boy, was SO awesome to watch... it brought me to tears!! But it also made me realize how I don't really have something like that in my life... like a dream to pursue or something to be passionate about.
I really want that again in my heart. I want a dream, an ambition, a goal to pursue, something to be passionate about. But more than anything I want it to be completely God-given; I want to walk 100% in His will and I want my dreams to line up with His for my life.
So, that's kind of where I'm at right now. Establishing my relationship and pursuit of the Lord on more than just fleeting emotions; praying and trying to find out my hearts greatest desires and dreams.
Yes there are things I love; little goals here and there that I want to achieve in my life. I love to travel. I love to read and write. I love to type... blogs, stories, etc. I love being outside. I love people. I love masses of people gathered together in one place worshipping the Creator of the Universe. I love seeing young people with hearts established and consecrated to the Lord. Ahh.... that, that right there, makes my heart so complete and happy:)
But I'm almost in a sense talking about something tangible; something that can have more immediate results in my life. I'm tired of wasting my time working a job that I'm far from passionate about; I want to find my niche in life and pursue it, and affect people, and cause change. I want to impact people's lives and have dreams that seem impossible...
Someone said something during my time in YWAM. They said, "God is a God of the impossible. If everything you're doing in your life is attainable and very possible to achieve, pray for God to give you dreams that are greater. Dream dreams that seem impossible... because that's the kind of God we serve."
I love that. I want to live a life of faith; solely dependent on the one true living God. So many people assume that narrows my options down to just being a long-term missionary, but I disagree. My mentor's husband that I mentioned earlier, the one who led the Bible study through Romans, is a man who breaks that stereotype 100x over. He's not a long-term missionary; he lives a "regular" life like I do, with a "regular" family of 6, and "regular" job as HR of State Farmers Insurance. BUT. He's different than anyone else because He's led 100% by the Spirit of God. Whether that's decisions he makes in the workplace, or in his family, He's constantly walking in the Spirit and living a life full of divine appointments left and right:) He proves that life as a Christian should NEVER be boring!! Not when you're being led by the Spirit. Coooooooool!
So yeah. Anyways. That's a wrap. There's the blog... written more for me than anything, but I appreciate you being a part of my process as well. This is where I'm at::: Praying for dreams and passions to awaken in my heart... Trusting in the Lord to bring some that will glorify His name above anything else. Resting in that fact... ahh I love the peace that Jesus alone brings. So different and opposite of the world... and so fulfilling as a result. Pray for me too if you think about it:)
Immediate Goals:
- Get lost in a really good book... or rather a couple... read 2 books a month.
- Hit the gym once a day... (get ready for bathing suit season! Ha:)
- Stop eating chocolate... for atleast a month. (ahh... nearly impossible. But as I said before... God is a God of the impossible! He'll give me strength... I hope.)
- Re-read the Gospels. (Excercise for both my body and my heart. SO needed)
- Wake up by 8:30 am every morning.
- Brainstorm more goals.
Oh... P.S....
Happy 10 months my love!!!! :) I love you... <3
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
:::Friend from afar:::
You know those people that come into your life... where you can't help but fall in love with Jesus everytime you talk to them?
Meet my friend, Brit Chaney.
Brit and I have an interesting story. I've never actually met her in person. Strange. I heard about her through a mutual friend about a year ago, when I expressed to this girl (Erin Conner) that I was going to do YWAM in Hawaii. Erin told me about her friend, Brit, who was currently in MAUI, staffing for a YWAM school down there. So I found Brit on the F-book... (major props) and messaged her and asked her if she could tell me a little more about YWAM and Hawaii and how the next 6 months were gonna be. She messaged me back with nothing but a phone number and told me to call her cuz she would love to chat. And BOY did we:)
She has played a HUGE role in my life the last year as far as YWAM goes, and even in every day life situations. She has a passion and deep LOVE for Jesus unlike any I've ever seen in my entire life, it's incredible really. I wish I could introduce her and have her talk to every single person in my life. She will leave you with a heart that loves Jesus more, or one that wants to know about this MAN THAT HAS COMPLETELY STOLEN THE HEART OF THIS GIRL.
Ahhh.... so refreshing.
Praise Jesus for my friend Brit Chaney. I'm so grateful. :)
Meet my friend, Brit Chaney.
Brit and I have an interesting story. I've never actually met her in person. Strange. I heard about her through a mutual friend about a year ago, when I expressed to this girl (Erin Conner) that I was going to do YWAM in Hawaii. Erin told me about her friend, Brit, who was currently in MAUI, staffing for a YWAM school down there. So I found Brit on the F-book... (major props) and messaged her and asked her if she could tell me a little more about YWAM and Hawaii and how the next 6 months were gonna be. She messaged me back with nothing but a phone number and told me to call her cuz she would love to chat. And BOY did we:)
She has played a HUGE role in my life the last year as far as YWAM goes, and even in every day life situations. She has a passion and deep LOVE for Jesus unlike any I've ever seen in my entire life, it's incredible really. I wish I could introduce her and have her talk to every single person in my life. She will leave you with a heart that loves Jesus more, or one that wants to know about this MAN THAT HAS COMPLETELY STOLEN THE HEART OF THIS GIRL.
Ahhh.... so refreshing.
Praise Jesus for my friend Brit Chaney. I'm so grateful. :)
Thursday, April 02, 2009
:::Again & again & again:::
The past week has been a very interesting one. God's been doing some pretty sweet (that's "sweet" as in, really cute, gentle, sweetheart type stuff) in my life lately.
Sunday I got home from my trip to Atlanta and Florida with my man to visit his family... talk about a FUN time!!! We had a blast, surprised his parents and brother and sister... (they didn't know we were making a stop in Atlanta!) and then took a 9 hour road trip down to Bonita Springs, Florida, where we stayed with his grandparents in their BEAUTIFUL home the rest of the week... making a couple day visits at the beach of course:) It was SO NICE!!! That was a very much needed week... Bill and I got to spend a lot of good quality time together and it was such a treat:)
God started tugging on my heart while I was IN Atlanta. I went to his younger sister's Senior High service at their church, and oh my gosh it was amazing. The Holy Spirit was there in every way... from the awesome worship (led by Bill's younger sisters boyfriend, Nick, who is SO cool and so in love with Jesus!) to the sermon, which was such an intense, powerful sermon about the Holy Spirit and how we shouldn't become complacent in our walk with Christ and we need to RUN after Him with everything we have!! (A sermon I really needed to hear.)
THEN... a couple days later... Bill surprised me with a special guest at our random lunch date at Moe's.... his mentor Matt Miller! We ate our little burritos and started talking with Matt, who is such a great guy. Our conversation lasted for about 3 hours, and consisted of Matt mentoring Bill and I and giving us awesome, Godly advice for our relationship. It was a mini-taste of pre-engagement counseling:) I loved every minute of it!!! God used that time to tug on my heart as well.... He apparently really wants me back!
Anyways, the transition back into real life.... Bill being insanely busy with schoolwork and me working 35+ hours a week.... has been a difficult one. My life has been so full of transitions ever since coming back from DTS, it's crazy. I feel like I haven't had any chance to stop, relax, and spend time with JUST my Jesus... and to be honest that fact alone is having more of a negative effect on me than I think I even realize.
I went to Revival Town, the service on Tuesday nights at my church, and it was awesome. I walked into the service to the song "He Loves Us...." a song that's invaded my life since last summer and hasn't left. It was awesome. I worshipped God for a little bit... something I haven't done in quite a while unfortunately.... then caught a glimpse of my incredible cousin, Nico, and asked him to pray for me. Nico's 2 days older than me and has always had such a special place in my heart. Anyways, with the authority he has in Christ, he prayed for me and over me and just really encouraged my heart. It was just what I needed. Thank Jesus for the incredible people He's made:)
That was Tuesday night... so refreshing. My cousin flew in last night... and she's recently come back to Jesus after living the past 22 years of her life her own way, and boy is she on FIRE!!! Ahhh... such a blessing!!! In the midst of my crazy, complacent, somewhat depressing week, Jesus sends me a little spark He's started in my cousin and it's so incredibly encouraging and so inspiring!! I stayed up talking with her and my mom until 3 in the morning... (bad idea when I had to be at work today at 8 am...) but we just talked about Jesus and about what He's been doing in her life and about faith... oh my gosh.... touched my heart so much!!
I miss being surrounded and having a solid group of friends that are all in love with Jesus... to the point where He's all we talk about, all we want, all we feed on in our lives. Coming back from DTS has been hard in different ways. I've in a sense lost my good, solid friends who were in love with Jesus as much as I was and pushed me closer to Him. Life happened, relationships happened, "busyness" happened.... and now it's gone. I miss having friends who I could just stay up all night with talking about Jesus.
I experienced that a little bit last night again with my cousin! The realization that I've been missing that for so long broke my heart. :( I hate where I'm at right now. I miss the days in high school where I had one love and one love only and my hearts desire was chasing after Him.
I want to be back there. And I will. God wants me back!! :)
There are several things I've learned from the old days at _tag... (the glory days.) One is this: You hunger for what you feed on.
That's something that I need to really grasp in my life right now. I've been feeding on work, relationships, facebook lol. Anything and everything but my relationship with Jesus... so obviously by not feeding on it, I'm not hungering and desiring it!! Ohhhh but believe me, I am. I want Him so badly!
My cousin said something last night that was incredible to me: "You can't meet Jesus and have a relationship with Him and NOT be a radical, fanatic, etc. It's impossible. When you truly meet Him, and have a growing relationship with Him, you will want nothing less. Lukewarm Christianity is a joke and a waste of time. People are selfish and try to develop their own Christianity, regardless of what scripture says, but it's right there for you to read. You need to either be all in, or all out."
Amazing. My life since YWAM has been lukewarm. I don't want to get spit out of God's mouth. I want to live my life abundantly here while I'm on the earth... and that can only happen to the extent that I'm plugged into my Jesus. I want to walk with Him. I want to have a radical prayer life. I want to be addicted and feed off of the Word. I want to worship Him in the Spirit! I don't want to get trapped into a life of sin; lust, pride, and deceit have been the roads most traveled in my life recently and I need to get out.
Jesus is truth. He's the way. He is life. His love for me is more than anything I can comprehend and that love demands my whole life.
Sunday I got home from my trip to Atlanta and Florida with my man to visit his family... talk about a FUN time!!! We had a blast, surprised his parents and brother and sister... (they didn't know we were making a stop in Atlanta!) and then took a 9 hour road trip down to Bonita Springs, Florida, where we stayed with his grandparents in their BEAUTIFUL home the rest of the week... making a couple day visits at the beach of course:) It was SO NICE!!! That was a very much needed week... Bill and I got to spend a lot of good quality time together and it was such a treat:)
God started tugging on my heart while I was IN Atlanta. I went to his younger sister's Senior High service at their church, and oh my gosh it was amazing. The Holy Spirit was there in every way... from the awesome worship (led by Bill's younger sisters boyfriend, Nick, who is SO cool and so in love with Jesus!) to the sermon, which was such an intense, powerful sermon about the Holy Spirit and how we shouldn't become complacent in our walk with Christ and we need to RUN after Him with everything we have!! (A sermon I really needed to hear.)
THEN... a couple days later... Bill surprised me with a special guest at our random lunch date at Moe's.... his mentor Matt Miller! We ate our little burritos and started talking with Matt, who is such a great guy. Our conversation lasted for about 3 hours, and consisted of Matt mentoring Bill and I and giving us awesome, Godly advice for our relationship. It was a mini-taste of pre-engagement counseling:) I loved every minute of it!!! God used that time to tug on my heart as well.... He apparently really wants me back!
Anyways, the transition back into real life.... Bill being insanely busy with schoolwork and me working 35+ hours a week.... has been a difficult one. My life has been so full of transitions ever since coming back from DTS, it's crazy. I feel like I haven't had any chance to stop, relax, and spend time with JUST my Jesus... and to be honest that fact alone is having more of a negative effect on me than I think I even realize.
I went to Revival Town, the service on Tuesday nights at my church, and it was awesome. I walked into the service to the song "He Loves Us...." a song that's invaded my life since last summer and hasn't left. It was awesome. I worshipped God for a little bit... something I haven't done in quite a while unfortunately.... then caught a glimpse of my incredible cousin, Nico, and asked him to pray for me. Nico's 2 days older than me and has always had such a special place in my heart. Anyways, with the authority he has in Christ, he prayed for me and over me and just really encouraged my heart. It was just what I needed. Thank Jesus for the incredible people He's made:)
That was Tuesday night... so refreshing. My cousin flew in last night... and she's recently come back to Jesus after living the past 22 years of her life her own way, and boy is she on FIRE!!! Ahhh... such a blessing!!! In the midst of my crazy, complacent, somewhat depressing week, Jesus sends me a little spark He's started in my cousin and it's so incredibly encouraging and so inspiring!! I stayed up talking with her and my mom until 3 in the morning... (bad idea when I had to be at work today at 8 am...) but we just talked about Jesus and about what He's been doing in her life and about faith... oh my gosh.... touched my heart so much!!
I miss being surrounded and having a solid group of friends that are all in love with Jesus... to the point where He's all we talk about, all we want, all we feed on in our lives. Coming back from DTS has been hard in different ways. I've in a sense lost my good, solid friends who were in love with Jesus as much as I was and pushed me closer to Him. Life happened, relationships happened, "busyness" happened.... and now it's gone. I miss having friends who I could just stay up all night with talking about Jesus.
I experienced that a little bit last night again with my cousin! The realization that I've been missing that for so long broke my heart. :( I hate where I'm at right now. I miss the days in high school where I had one love and one love only and my hearts desire was chasing after Him.
I want to be back there. And I will. God wants me back!! :)
There are several things I've learned from the old days at _tag... (the glory days.) One is this: You hunger for what you feed on.
That's something that I need to really grasp in my life right now. I've been feeding on work, relationships, facebook lol. Anything and everything but my relationship with Jesus... so obviously by not feeding on it, I'm not hungering and desiring it!! Ohhhh but believe me, I am. I want Him so badly!
My cousin said something last night that was incredible to me: "You can't meet Jesus and have a relationship with Him and NOT be a radical, fanatic, etc. It's impossible. When you truly meet Him, and have a growing relationship with Him, you will want nothing less. Lukewarm Christianity is a joke and a waste of time. People are selfish and try to develop their own Christianity, regardless of what scripture says, but it's right there for you to read. You need to either be all in, or all out."
Amazing. My life since YWAM has been lukewarm. I don't want to get spit out of God's mouth. I want to live my life abundantly here while I'm on the earth... and that can only happen to the extent that I'm plugged into my Jesus. I want to walk with Him. I want to have a radical prayer life. I want to be addicted and feed off of the Word. I want to worship Him in the Spirit! I don't want to get trapped into a life of sin; lust, pride, and deceit have been the roads most traveled in my life recently and I need to get out.
Jesus is truth. He's the way. He is life. His love for me is more than anything I can comprehend and that love demands my whole life.
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