:::Just a Wife:::

I just got off the phone with my sweet mother in love. Of all the crazy mother in laws in the world, I'm SO blessed with one who is loving, compassionate, who genuinely loves me and who has welcomed me into their family with open arms. In all honesty, all of Billy's family has done that, HOW BLESSED AM I??? I love his family, I'm so grateful to have married into their family, and I can't wait for the many memories yet to be made at all our family reunions!

Anyways, so I was talking to my Mother in love and we were discussing about the difficulty of being a wife, especially in the early phase of marriage.

I don't think that every marriage is difficult by any means, but we were specifically talking about how hard my scenario is, because right now I'm a wife.... and NOTHING ELSE. Or atleast that's how it feels.

I'm not working... I'm not in school... I'm not "pursuing my dreams" so to speak. I'm just... a wife. I'm a wife, doing essentially nothing with her time but following around a man that she's promised her life to.

That particular part of my circumstances has been difficult for me to sort through this past month - especially considering the type of person I am.

I LOVE (in most cases) busyness, I LOVE working, I LOVE learning about things I'm passionate about, I LOVE developing relationships. I love being busy.

I love juggling roles in my life - whether it's the role of a daughter, fellow employee, team captain, church go-er, Bible study leader, sister, best friend. I enjoy them all!

So... now. Things have changed. I've moved away from people that know me.... you know the story. I'm in a different place in life right now and it's hard for me to not have TONS of roles to fill - my only role really is being a wife.

When your life gets so simplified, it's easy for Satan to turn the focus on you and make you feel like you're life is meaningless.

You're not fulfilling anything, you're not making a difference.

You're "only a wife."

You just "follow around your husband like a mindless fool."

You're not a mother, you're not working. Just a wife.

For a girl who's life has consisted of more than 3 roles at any one time, it's hard to "just be a wife." In the past month especially, I've felt like my life was meaningless, I felt like it was a waste.

But after talking to my mother in love, and really having meditated on the thought a bit, God's reaffirmed so much in my heart.

I don't need 5,000 things to do to feel like my life has a purpose. I don't need to play in 50 roles so I can feel like my life is worth living.

I have a purpose, I have a life worth living.

Jesus decides to give me breath every day, He decides to give me His love.

He knows my name, my weaknesses, and sees my past and future victories.

He's given me a healthy body, a sharp mind, and two hands to serve Him and other people.

I have a role as His daughter. That role includes loving Him and others, serving Him and others. That role includes lining my life up to His - that's so amazing and humbling to think about.

Now, apart from that role, he's also given me the role of being a wife.

As much as I would in some ways like to belittle that role, He gently but firmly reminds me that I shouldn't dare think less of it. Here's why.

The role of a "wife" has SO much weighing on it.

Regardless of what society thinks today, I have power:

- I have the power to nurture, sustain, encourage, and love my husband - and I have the power to tear down, ruin, criticize, or destroy him.

- I have the power to serve him and help him, or to make his life miserable.

- I have the power to push him closer to God by the way I love and encourage him, and I have the power to turn him away from God by the way I judge, nag, and criticize him.

- I have the power to help him achieve his biggest dreams, and I have the power to discourage him to the point where he never dreams again.

Everyday I have choices.

Everyday I can choose whether to love, pursue, respect, honor, and help him - or do the exact opposite.

Everyday I can choose how I will speak, learn, grown, interact, judge, or react with this man God's given me.

Everyday I can choose to either live for me and fulfill my selfish desires, or live for him and his desires.

Living with those thoughts in the fore-front of your mind, I believe, could radically change marriages today.

I don't care that I'm not working, that I'm not in school, that I'm not "busy."

This time I have is only for a short season - Lord knows the years ahead will consist of nothing but me juggling around many, many roles - including mother!! (SO crazy to think about...)

No, this time of only having mainly one role of "wife" is a short time - and it's in these days, where it's just me and my love... before the crazy responsibilities... before the kids.... it's in THESE days that I am going to consciously pursue, love, honor, encourage, and respect my husband. Not only because he deserves it, but because God blessed me with this man and gave me the role of being a WIFE.

I have power, I have responsibility, I am a WIFE and I'm not going to believe Satan's lies that want nothing more than to distract or discourage me from living the role that God has planned out for me now.

It's not simple, it's not unimportant.

My roots are entwined with his, and love is never unimportant.

"... where you go, I go, and where you live, I will live.

Your people are my people, and your God is my God."

~ Ruth 1:16+

God also just brought to mind this famous chapter - SO encouraging to my heart :)

"A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long."
~ Prov 31:10+