::thank you, love::

"One of the most transforming forces in our lives is being regarded as better than we are."

- John Piper.

WOW. What a profound, powerful, TRUE thought. And beautiful - incredibly beautiful.

Jesus did this for us. He regarded us as better than we were - as it explains in Romans 5:8:

"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us..."

a loving, beautiful, transforming force in our lives if we choose to accept it.

{How great the love of the Father}

And yet, in many areas of my life, I drop the ball on this idea.

God is moving in my heart and continually bringing me back to release one of the biggest strongholds in my life - pride. Sometimes - and it's in complete, real, raw, ugly honesty that I confess this - I remind myself of a pharisee and the thought makes me sick.

Pharisees don't bring permanent transformation, they bring feelings of shame or rebellion against what they claim to, but falsely represent - God.

I don't want to be that person. I have been that person in the past and I'm clinging to the promise that He makes all things new and I'm trusting that He has done that within my own heart and thoughts.

I want to be someone who loves people into loving love... does that make sense?

The lost, the confused, the angry, the prodigals - I want to love them towards radical change - a love that points them into being and accepting love.

Those redemption stories are my favorite kinds... you've heard them.

The kid who got expelled from five schools, has been in Juvee, is addicted to drugs, has a crappy home life, carries an immense amount of insecurity masked by anger and hate. I LOVE the stories where someone takes THAT kid, LOVES them, believes in them, and essentially regards them as better than they really are.

Then, under that love, the kids start to believe in themselves.

Then they transform.

That's probably why I love the story of 'Les Miserables' so much - that's Jean Valjean's story.

And in so many ways, that's our story.

And that needs to be the story of the people we're blessed enough to live this life with - and we need to play a part in it.

Don't be the person that I fight to not be.

Don't focus so much on "telling it like it is" that you forget to speak in love.

Don't focus so much on their wrongs - but believe the best.

Don't think of yourself in a position of looking down on someone.

You want to be like Christ?

Then DO IT.

LOVE people.

BELIEVE in people when they don't believe in themselves.

THEN you'll see change.

That's what Jesus did in the lives of the slaves, cheaters, whores, liars, thieves while He walked on this earth, and that's what He's continuing to do in hearts that accept Him today.

And that's what I want to do.

I want to love "the ugly" - because love makes ugly, beautiful.

___________________________________

Currently Listening to: Matt Maher - "Christ is Risen." check it out here.

:::Valentines:::

I LOVE love.

Love is beautiful.

It never fails.

It casts out all fear.

It always protects.

It always trusts.

It perseveres til' the end.

It shows patience and kindness.

It makes ugly things beautiful.

It always forgives.

Valentine's Day is a day of Love.

Although this "holiday" is nothing but a commercialized, sometimes ridiculous overly emphasized celebration, I can't help but have a special place for it in my heart.

I love Valentine's Day.

Everything about it, every phase of life it touches, makes me happy!!
Rewind with me if you will...

Elementary School: Kids make cute little valentines day boxes and share valentines, which are nothing more than cute, encouraging little notes like "you rock!" or "you're so awesome!" Candy is spread around and shared and it is probably the best day of the year for everyone.

Middle School: I love the Candy Hearts that are so treasured in this phase of life: "Be Mine." "U R HAWT." "BABE." Haha!! In my middle school years, I was obsessed with a series of book called the Christy Miller Series... I don't know if you know about these books but candy hearts always remind me of Christy Miller because that's how her man, Todd, proposed to her. Three Candy Hearts that said, "Marry me. Marry me. Marry me." :) I associate candy hearts with middle school and while I'm in NO way naive to the heartbreak, emotions, and cruelty that most kids love to spread on valentines day in this society - I also really treasure the times where that ONE boy gives a flower to a girl who's never gotten one before... just because.

High School: Where things get "serious." :) Hopefully if you have your drivers license by then, Valentines Day can look completely different! Dates, school dances, creativity runs wild in adolescent boys with cars, and it's a totally fun phase. I remember my high school valentines - sometimes they were my best friends, and some times they were my "flings," but either way high school was a fun phase of life to celebrate Valentines!

When I think about these phases - I'm just reminded of HOW FAST TIME FLIES.....

Because those phases were 4+ years ago for me... and now I'm here!

Marriage: Valentine's Day goes to a WHOLE new level. Romance, passion, happiness. It's truly a beautiful, beautiful thing.

My sweet husband absolutely SPOILED me today! We slept in, woke up late and made a delicious breakfast together, then hung out around the house doing whatever :) then he surprised me and took me to see the JUSTIN BEIBER MOVIE!!! (which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND and GREATLY ENJOYED btw!!!)

Now, the reason that is SO special is because he had made it very clear to me that if I ever see that movie, he would NOT be with me haha. So the fact that he not only surprised me, but sat with me and watched it, was evidence that he's pretty crazy about me :) (fun feeling.)

THEN we came home, and got all dolled up for a delicious 5 course candlelight dinner!! Thanks to Billy's Uncle Jason for introducing us to the lifestyle of 5 course fine dining, we've become quite accustomed to them and REALLY enjoy them!

::photo break::

My handsome man at Dinner :)

Me LOVING my dinner :)

Back home after Dinner ::: i love this man.

SO... that was a blast.

Then we went on a late night Walmart run (a favorite activity of ours) and got Moscato Wine (also a favorite.) and some ingredients to put our homemade ice cream maker to GOOD USE tomorrow!! I can't wait to share how it went!!

And now... he's setting up another surprise for me.

I'm in the office and he's locked himself in our bedroom for the past 30 minutes and has commanded that I STAY AWAY from that area... I don't know what he's doing in there... but I can smell candle smoke.... ;)

*sigh*

I'm spoiled. I'm grateful. I'm aware that we're truly blessed to have this Valentines Day together, and I'm aware (through the circumstances of some of our close friends at the moment) that we mostlikely will not be able to make a DAYS celebration of it in future years.

But I'm so grateful we've had this whole day together... before Billy starts Pilot Training and before I start working full time... to love and be loved.

Love keeps me alive.

The Love that the SAVIOR gives me keeps me alive.

It's not only His love that sustains me, but the blessings that He's given me from that love.

The way my husband loves me is TRUE LOVE.

He is my greatest delight this side of heaven.

I'm blessed to be his and will forever be grateful for the opportunity to walk next to him during our lifetimes.

I want to end with one of my favorite Qutoes on "Love."

Spoken from St. Augustine himself.

I hope it fills your heart with joy and peace and HOPE as it does mine.

"Love is a temporary madness.

It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.

You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.

That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine

I hope you feel SO loved today, truly, completely, absolutely loved.

Because you were created in the image of God, and that's the way He LOVES you.


Happy Valentines Day.

:::The Mind:::

"In my creature impatience, I am often caused to wish that there were some way to bring modern Christians into a deeper spiritual life painlessly by short, easy lessons; but such wishes are vain.

No shortcut exists.

God has not bowed to our nervous haste, nor embraced the methods of our machine age.

It is well that we accept the hard truth now: The man who would know God must give time to Him. He must count no time wasted which is spent in the cultivation of His acquaintence."

- A.W. Tozer :: "God's Pursuit of Man." (pg. 5)

Period.

I truly believe and would like to echo what I've recently heard Beth Moore preach in a podcast, and that is the idea that, there has never been a MORE DIFFICULT time in history to do JUST. ONE. THING.

Again, there has never been a more difficult time to do JUST ONE THING.

~ JUST drive. (No, we drive and text, blast music, do make up, eat, talk on the phone, listen to audio books, etc.)

~ JUST read. (No, we just read, and sip tea, and check our text messages and voicemails.)

~ JUST eat dinner. (No, same story with the cell phones, we have business calls, we have our favorite TV show coming on in five minutes, play a game on our iphone, etc.)

You catch my drift.

I love how Tozer puts it when he says "machine age..."

"God has not bowed to our nervous haste nor embraced the methods of our machine age."

I admit that I am SO guilty of desiring some sort of short-cut.

But truly, the more I think about it, this time spent with the Lord is not for HIS benefit - He doesn't need me. He doesn't need my "sacrifices" or my "time."

Instead, this time spent with the Lord, cultivating His presence, is SO for my benefit.

The number one thing the Lord has been teaching me lately is the power of the mind.

He started this lesson at Passion, through Beth Moore's talk, and oh my word how it completely rocked my life.

In my life I've never before realized how incredibly powerful the mind is - looking back in my middle school and high school days, I'm quite certain that I primarily have lived in victory in my mind.

But the past year or so has been nothing short of defeat of my mind - and I was CLUELESS as to what was going on.

I created negative thought patterns, believed lies, lived in defeat.

I let the shame of my absence keep me from returning to the foot of Cross - a shame that Satan is SO good at clouding my mind with, by the way.

But God is so... true. And Patient. And full of Grace and Mercy. And loving.

He's drawing me back so gently and lovingly and in a way that is more REAL than I've ever experienced.

It isn't this mountain-top, retreat feeling that I felt so much in my high school _tag days - in fact, it truly is SO far from a feeling.

I'm learning to do this:

"Love the Lord your God... with all your mind." ~ Matthew 22:37

God's been revealing to me the POWER and IMPORTANCE of the mind recently.

He shows the importance of them through these verses:

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..." ~ Romans 12:1

"I the LORD... examine the mind." ~ Jeremiah 17:10

"The He (Jesus) opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures." ~ Luke 24:45

"And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done." ~ Romans 1:28

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind of the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." ~ Romans 8:5-6

"By smooth talk and flattery, they deceive the minds of naive people." ~ Romans 16:18

"But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your minds will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ." ~ 2 Corinthians 11:3

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." ~ Colossians 3:2

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled." ~ 1 Peter 1:13

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guards your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Phillipians 4:7

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so you can pray." ~ 1 Peter 4:7

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praise-worthy, think about these things." ~ Phillipians 4:8

That last one really speaks to me... it seems like a silly concept, "think about good things," but I believe the writer knew exactly what he was talking about.

He knew how powerful our thoughts could be and he encouraged us to THINK about good things.

"Powerless religion may put a man through many surface changes and leave him exactly what he was before." ~ A.W. Tozer :: pg 19

That thought is SO true. I truly believe, from what I've been reading, praying, and hearing sermons about over the past couple months, that the only TRUE, DEEP, below the surface transformation that can occur is driven by the spirit and it is the renewal of the mind.

Tozer states on page 29, "With this desire to please men so deeply implanted within us, how can we uproot it and shift our life-drive from pleasing me to pleasing God?

Well, no one can do it alone, nor can he do it with the help of others, nor by education nor by training nor by any other method known under the sun.

What is required is a reversal of nature (that is a fallen nature does not make it any the less powerful) and this reversal must be a supernatural act.

That act the Spirit performs through the power of the gospel when it is received in living faith. Then He displaces the old with the new."

Amazing!!!

All of these points tie together:

1) If a man wants to know God - he MUST give time to Him.

2) If a man wants more than a powerful religion that just gives him a surface change, he MUST be alive in the Spirit.

3) If a man is alive in the Spirit, he MUST RENEW HIS MIND.

4) ONLY when he renews his mind, will the man be able to fully discern the will of God (Romans 12:1)

Beth Moore says it best:

"God has a will for your life - and SO does Satan."

Satan is SO good at what he does - he knows our callings, our roles, our inheritance, and the AUTHORITY given to us by Jesus Himself. He knows we have the victory and he knows what we're capable of more than we know.

The way he's gotten me, and the way he gets most people, is in our MINDS.

Despite the fact that we've heard the truth and learned the truth of our identity and authority in Christ, Satan still twists and seduces us so that we believe IN OUR MINDS that:

we're not worthy.

we've messed up too much.

we've walked away too far.

there is no God.

grace is not for me.

Satan convinces us of these lies and when we live in these lies - we are obviously not acknowledging the calling and purpose of our lives and not living in truth.

That's where I've been stuck.

And that's where I'm going to fight back.

I hate Satan. I know he is real. I know he sees me in the supernatural. I know he hates me. I know he's scared of me. I know he has a plan and will for my life.

I know that as I type these thoughts and enter into this new stage that God is leading me to, that Satan will be angrier and roaring louder in my life than he ever has before.

But I don't stand on Satan - he is not my solid rock.

I stand on Christ - JESUS is my solid Rock.

He's teaching me to take my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ, to meditate on things that are good and pure and lovely, to SPEND time with Him and renew my mind, to walk in the Spirit and not fulfill the desires of the flesh.

God is above all my hopes and fears - and I'm going to love Him with all my mind.

::The New Favorite::

I. Love. Them.

IF you don't know them... you really should.

They're called the Civil Wars.

Their New Album is out... don't get left behind!!

Love them with me.

::Culture vs. Scripture::

So, I'm sitting here in my fuzzy blue robe, drinking my delicious peppermint tea, listening to "Poison & Wine" and "Barton Hollow" by the Civil Wars, and trying to figure out why I haven't blogged more over the past few weeks since I've essentially had an extremely open schedule during my time here on the border.

I've decided that the reason is probably because.... this place lacks some serious inspiration. If you don't know what I'm talking - move here. The only beautiful thing about this town is the people - the people here are about 80% Mexican and SO nice and friendly and bilingual and cute and everything - I can honestly say I love the people of Del Rio.

But if you took the people out of the picture - leaving JUST the town.... yikes. A lot of closed business. A lot of desert-like conditions. Hardly any trees. Sort of dumpy. No Starbucks and no Target. If people left this town, and you let the town sit deserted for about two weeks... it could be considered a fairly large ghost town.

That being said, it's hard to come from Colorado to the border, especially in regards to inspiration. Here's a short list why:

In Colorado...

- I could step outside my house to take a walk and immediately be surrounded by breathtaking mountains that many people only dream of seeing.

- I could get lost on a hike and end up at a lake or waterfall a mile up from where I started my hike.

- I could sit, cozied up in my house, sipping hot chocolate and looking outside at the huge chunks of snow falling and collecting on the ground.

- I could drive a few miles away, and gather with thousands of people and lift up the name of Jesus at my church essentially any night of the week.

- I could call up my best friend, drive up to her house in the mountains, and lay on her deck in our underwear and sports bras, talking about life and God and getting tan.

- I could drive a few miles away into the mountains to go meet my boyfriend/fiance (at the time) at his school and see views (or "vista's" as my father in love calls them...) that are absolutely stunning. Just during the drive!!

- I could hop in my car and be at a Starbucks, Target, Panera, Taco Bell, Williams & Sonoma, Express, Kohl's... really, take your pick... any place within 10 -15 minutes. Haha and this point makes me laugh. You never realize how much you LOVE Target until you move to a place where the closest Target is 3 hours away...

Blah. I feel like a huge whiner now, and honestly I don't HATE this town. Really. Like I said, the people are fantastic... and the lack of entertainment that this town offers has meant less distractions for my amazing husband and I - more time to ourselves to enjoy this beautiful, fun phase of life. There are several up-sides to living here for sure!

Anyways... I'm here.

:)

On the Border.

Meeting new people and recognizing new faces every day.

Enjoying this time of "nesting" - setting up my first home the way I like it - collecting cute little gadgets from the base thrift shop (I'm becoming a thrifting PRO!!) and cleaning like a woman who treasures her home.

Reading, journaling some, loving my husband with every bit of my heart.

The main reason I blog, however, is mainly out of some type of inspiration - and as I stated before - this town is definitely lacking in just that. :)

Today though, I decided to be different.

I'm gonna make my own inspiration.

I got the music playing - (I've switched to Brett Younker's new free worship EP - LOOK HIM UP!), still enjoying my tea, and thinking about an idea I tweeted last night...

I said, "I want to fill my heart with scripture rather than culture."

I've been having trouble sleeping the last few nights so while I was laying awake in my bed, listening to my handsome husband breathe, I was thinking about this idea.

I mentally made a list of what "culture says" regarding rules and trends in society today.

I hope I can remember them all...

Culture Says:

Marriage isn't necessary, and marriages don't last.

It's impossible to find someone who will remain faithful.

If you're having issues in your marriage, there's always an easy out.

Beauty is primarily exterior - the skinnier you are the more beautiful.

You're outward appearance is far more important than your heart.

Watch whatever you want, listen to whatever you want - you're mind and heart can't retain it all.

Money = happiness.

Spanking your children is abuse.

Abortion is not murder.

Do whatever feels good.

Submission is WEAKNESS - wives should NOT submit to their husbands, that's sexist.

Men and Women are equal in roles.

The more people you sleep with, the better.

Looking at Pornography is healthy in marriage.

Don't discipline your children - let them express themselves however they wish to and be "free."

Modesty is weird and unattractive.

In order to make it to the top, you probably have to lie.

TOLERANCE is the key to success, being liked by all.

Eat whatever you want, however you want, whenever you want - what is gluttony anyways?

Respect other's beliefs, and keep yours to yourself.

Your parents are stupid.

There are no absolutes.

What you believe is dictated in what you say, not always in how you act.

Jesus was either a fairytale or just a good man.

Overall, that's what I believe our culture screams today.

What's interesting to me though, is that scripture specifically addresses EACH of those points in one way or another... how cool is that?

So many people say "they don't know how to live or what God wants from them..." yet scripture DOES give us all we need for life and Godliness!! *soo cool*

Anyways, yes the Bible addresses each of these points and what I love is that this proves that Satan is SO good at what he does - taking everything God created and commanded, and TWISTING it to create a cheap, counterfeit aka FAKE imitation of it.

It's SO clear and SO evident when you put to the two side by side: culture vs. scripture.

In thinking about this idea, I've discovered in my own life that I've let a lot of what culture screams is "TRUTH" influence my mind, my heart, and my life.

As a self-proclaimed follower of Christ, lover of Jesus, seeker of "the way," that can NOT be the case!

At the Passion 2011 conference this past January, I had the privilege of hearing Francis Chan speak, and he spoke straight from his heart.

His main message was SO simple and yet SO necessary - he asked the question, is your life in balance?
Does what you say you believe, balance out to how you act and how you live?

I was thinking about that in my own life and realizing that no, in many places in my heart, what I SAY is truth and how I LIVE doesn't match up.

For instance, in many ways, I live in fear. Fear of man, fear of the future, fear of tangible scares, straight up fear. According to what I truly believe - that God is the God of the universe, He loves me and knows the plans He has for me, He is with me wherever I go, He's Sovereign, He has saved me - according to THOSE truths, I should NEVER be afraid.

-UNBALANCED-

I sometimes believe the lie that only exterior beauty is what matters... ignoring the condition of my heart. Therefore, I let insecurity, comparing myself, jealousy, fear, and self-hatred in and let those emotions or states of mind just sit there and camp out in my heart long enough to establish themselves there. According to what I truly believe - that God doesn't see me the way man sees me, He looks at the heart. That outward adornments (jewelery, clothes, etc) is not as beautiful as a woman with a gentle, pondering heart. That a Woman who fears the Lord is greatly to be praised, and a virtuous woman is hard to find. That I was made in the image of God... According to THOSE truths, I should never hate myself, never compare myself, never neglect my heart in the pursuit of improving my exterior.

-UNBALANCED-

Those are just a few examples of where my life is unbalanced, and where I've let culture creep into my heart a little too much.

I don't want that anymore.

I want what I believe to balance out what I live.

I want to fill my heart with scripture rather than culture...

Culture is always changing.

What's considered "wrong" one year is socially acceptable and even encouraged the next.

Sex + Money Foundation put it this way:

"What one generation allows... the next embraces."

That is so true.

If we, as followers of Jesus, want to make a difference in our generation, we need to fill our hearts with scripture rather than culture.

We need to make DISTINCTIVE lines between truth - and lies.

That's where I'm at now.

Struggling to silence the lies that Satan loves to whisper.

Wanting to clear my mind, control my thoughts, and fill my heart with TRUTH that can ONLY be found in Scripture.