:::New:Blank:Fresh:::

I soooo very much love New Years.

It's my favorite holiday, hands down.

I'm a date person, I love & remember dates & anniversaries of special events. I can tell you the date of my husband & my's first kiss... our whole timeline. I got it down to a T.

That being said... the idea of a "new year" is directly equivalent to a fresh start, and I can say that I LOVE fresh starts almost as much as I love calendars.

I feel like everything "new" is so equivalent to Jesus' will for your/my life.

He comes in, right smack dab in the middle of my perfectly unhealthy mess, and initiates the clean-up.

Not only does he initiate cleanup, but he fixes the broken parts, glues together the shattered pieces, and spit-shine's the embarrassing, dust-covered/stained corners til' I'm pure as snow. BRAND. NEW.

Unbelievable.

Right now I'm listening to lyrics that have literally SO been ingrained in my brain with their beautiful melody, ever since I was a wee youngin' during my days at _tag... but I can't imagine God putting a more perfect song in my ears at this exact moment than this very tune:

"A thousand times I've failed, still You're Mercy remains... should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your Grace..."

I don't know of a more enticing invitation than that. Especially with the intimately personal knowledge I have of the messy, dark, cob-webbed corners of my own heart.

2011 is O V E R.

I love ending chapters & starting new ones.

And I HATE ending chapters right in the middle of the chapter.

I believe Jesus is so perfectly timely in his idea of New Years - He's done it over and over again in my life. (Every 365 give/take days to be exact.)

What's funny is, that sometimes, as I enter what I believe to be in my heart a NEW, BLANK, FRESH PAGE... I always have my flesh speak up & REMIND me to admit that I don't deserve it. Or that I'll fail if I try with this "fresh, clean start" - so why try?

Nonsense...

"A Thousand times I've failed... still Your mercy remains... should I stumble again?" Oh yes. More like WHEN I stumble again.

Mind you, it's only the second day of the new year and I'm ashamed to admit that the word "WHEN" in that particular context has applied more times than I'll let you know.

It looks like so: Impatience. Doubt. Lack of faith. Lack of contentment. Jealousy. Fear. Pride. Pride. Pride.

Ugh. Forever will I battle?

"It's about the JOURNEY - not the DESTINATION..."

Or as my ridiculously awesome brother told me over Christmas break... something that his sweet friend shared with him...

"We aren't human BEINGS... we are human BECOMINGS..."

We are CONSTANTLY BECOMING - we are constantly moving towards SOMETHING... you decide what that "thing" is!

The second we think we've "made it" - whether in regards to our character, status, heart, relationship with God, etc... we've missed the point entirely.

Oh pride I hate you.

Yet you seem to love me!

NO.

2012 - I welcome you. Because of what you represent to me - because of the promise of NEW-NESS that Jesus is whispering to my heart... because of the chance to close a chapter and begin a beautiful one, again.

Time to start fresh - whatever that looks like to you.

To me?

Yes, I'm starting fresh.

Re-committing my heart, my life, my thoughts, my emotions - to the King who literally deserves it all in a way that I don't have words to express.

Sometimes I think, {{how many times do I have to freakin' do this??}}

BUT it's in the moment that, when I think I have exhausted myself from trying {again} to recommit & make the decision to do so no longer... that my heart will literally DIE.

NEVER!

A Thousand times I've failed - STILL HIS MERCY REMAINS!

Should I stumble again - I'M CAUGHT IN HIS GRACE!!

Don't let your pride keep you from falling on your face... again... and humbling yourself before a God who's love will NEVER FAIL YOU.

Don't let your pride keep you from admitting that you need a fresh start... again.. and walking that walk ahead, but this time with FAITH and not an obsession with your "GOOD DEEDS."

Don't take this fresh, blank page & throw it away out of ego - and don't take it and scribble nonsense on it because "it's what you've been doing all along and what you deserve..."

Believe me - I don't deserve this second (actually, more like 3,425th) chance AGAIN. I don't.

But at this point I have a choice to make.

Believe God can redeem me, broken, ugly, pathetic, slug-like ME, - believe I need my heart and mind to be RENEWED DAILY to walk this thing I'm talking - and BELIEVE that My FAITH ALONE is counted to me as righteousness...

EG: "All our righteous deeds are like filthy rags..." - Isaiah 64:6

Not just believe in God... but BELIEVE HIM!!

Take Him at His word!

Believe I am His daughter!

Believe I am HIS BELOVED!

Believe I have an inheritance!

Believe He has washed my sins away!
Believe I can do anything through Him!

Believe He gave me a helper!

Believe He has a PLAN for my life!

Believe He works everything out for GOOD in my life!

Believe He can do what He says He can do!

Believe that I am NOTHING without His Grace!

Believe that not ANYTHING can separate me from His love!

Believe that His ways are higher!

Believe that I must decrease, He must increase!

Believe that He has a plan to prosper my life!

Believe that by His stripes I am healed!

Believe that I don't have to conform to the world, but that I can RENEW MY MIND!

Believe that He loves me!

Believe that HE MAKES ALL THINGS NEW!

I'm opening my heart to Him... again.

I would like to DECLARE that 2012, in regards to MY life, is HIS for the taking.

Not because I'm an uneducated, naive little girl who is believing in something that she's been fed her whole life.

But because I have SEEN HIS FAITHFUL FRIENDSHIP literally all throughout my days... I've seen Him conform even the most unlikely person into one that is wholly in love with Him... I've seen Him radically transform lives... and I see that His message of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, Peace, Joy Unspeakable, Humility, Loyalty, Patience, Inward Beauty, Compassion, Faith - is SO UNLIKE anything society is trying to get us to believe and HIS WAY IS BETTER.

Cheers to a new year.

If this is the millionth time, or the first time, I encourage you to not let your failures stop you from accepting this grace & starting over..

He is love, He gives love, and He has ordained you to live through yet ANOTHER - NEW YEAR - and He's a God who makes all things new.

Quit talking the talk... I speak that as much to myself as to anyone... and DIVE DEEP into His words & His truth.

Nothing else in the entire world matters... so why waste yet another year? Why scribble nonsense on a perfectly clean crisp white page?

It's yours - He's given you enough grace to begin NEW today... take it.

Stop living your life for yourself and begin living your life for someone who has the BIG PICTURE!

He loves you... so very much.

So much, in fact, that He'll wipe your slate clean if you let Him.