{ <3 }

♥

Your eyes are full,
full of the future of us.
The air changes as you look across
at me in that wondering way.

It is as if
I knew you before we spoke.
Do our hearts know something we don't?
Conspiring, converging, without giving us any say...

(Chorus)
You sing me to sleep,
talk down my walls,
Look through my windows as I wait
You could be the thief
I give the key to...

You're ruining me
with secrets and gestures and looks,
With sonnets and second-hand books.
Playing the chords in me,
nobody knew how to play.

(Chorus)
You sing me to sleep,
talk down my walls,
Look through my windows as I wait.
You could be the thief
I give the key to...

It fits in your hand like the water in rain.
It unlocks our two different selves and shows we are the same.
Rather than wait 'til I put me out for the taking,
You're breaking... you're breaking into my heart.
...and I'm letting you.

Your eyes are full, full of the future of us.

♥

1/2 way there my best friend...

I love you.

:)

::Gosh I miss you::

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts,
I'm standing there,
on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd,
you say "Hello."
Little did I know...

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles...
and my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet..."
and I was crying on the staircase,
begging you "please don’t go..."
and I said,

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting, all theres left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess...
Its a love story, baby just say yes."

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, cause' we’re dead if they knew,
so close your eyes...
escape this town for little while.

Cause' you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter.
and my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet..."
but you were everything to me,
and I was begging you "please don’t go..."
and I said,

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting, all there's left to do is run.
You be the prince, and I’ll be the princess...
its a love story, baby just say yes.

Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel...
This love is difficult, but its so real.
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess.
Its a love story, baby just say yes."

Oh, oh

I got tired of waiting...
wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading...
when i met you on the outskirts of town, and I said,

Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you, but you never come...
is this in my head, I don’t know what to think.
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,

"Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you and thats all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress.
It's a love story, baby just say yes."


♥
(I love you!)

::3 Months::

My Best Friend.

My Love.

3 Months.

More than half of it has been long distance, and it kills me.

I can't wait to be with him again.

♥

::2 Weeks::

This will be my new home in exactly 2 weeks from today.

I can't believe it!!

:)

::2 Months Down::

So... I can't believe it's only been two months... especially when it feels like so much longer...

But hey.... two months it is!! :)



Two wonderful months with a new best friend that I'm learning to grow with more, trust more, and love more.

The future is so unknown... (well, maybe just a little unknown...) :) ...but its nice to have a best friend who trusts in, loves, and yields to the same God I do.

Our God is the only blessing that stays constant through this whole relationship, and it's nice when you can place your complete faith in that... knowing that He wants whats best for each of us anyways.


So. Yes. Two months and counting... (and hoping for many, many more to come....) :) We'll see.

But for now, I'm going to enjoy him. Everything about him. He really is an amazing man, leader, friend... and I'm so so so sooo thankful to share this time of my life with him.


He's my best friend. :)

::Stages::

It's amazing how different people can be in such drastically different stages of life.
For instance, my best friends and I.

-One of my best friends just got accepted into the Hillsong School of Worship and is leaving in January for two years! :) (Very bittersweet... tell you why in a second.)

-Another one of my best friends just got back from YWAM, and is just starting a very serious relationship with a boy she's been in love with for four years and who has finally become everything he needs to be to her!!

-My other best friend is head over heels in love with the Lord, and is pursuing Him alone, wanting nothing else in life!!! SO encouraging!

-My other best friend is in the process of possibly ending what was an extremely serious two and a half year relationship. :( Maybe, maybe not, but either way it hurts being at that point.

Such a catharsis of emotions no? How can I go from being SO excited/sad finding out about my friend going to Hillsong in the morning, to crying over dinner with my other friend who tells me, between sobs, that things might be over between her and the man she's been in love with for almost 3 years?

I hurt for her. :(

I dunno. Emotions are such an unstable thing. Relationships are sometimes such unstable things! Talk about taking a risk!! Putting yourself completely out there, learning day by day to trust completely in the other person you're giving part of your heart to, while making sure your not giving too much of yourself too quickly because "you never know whats going to happen."

Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to not put yourself in the relationship situation at all, and instead to just avoid having your heart broken with something that you were so sure about turn into something that is completely unexpected. Avoiding that whole thing altogether.

But then, I think of the happiness I've had in my relationship...
-------------------------------------------------------------

*The special feeling you get when you know they want to be with you all the time.

*The smile you can't take off your face for the rest of the day when they randomly come and surprise you at work... (my co-workers said I was glowing!!) :)

*The random texts you get throughout the day, telling you that they are thinking about you and that they love you.

*The way you feel beautiful when they compliment you, or when you randomly catch them staring at you with a smile on their face... :)

*The fact that almost every thought you have is centered around them.

*The surprise card you get from them in the mail telling you they miss you while being gone for 3 long weeks... :)

*The Peace, safety, and security you feel when you're around that person.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I wouldn't give any of that up for the whole world! I definitely think its a risk worth taking. But the solid truth of your life is its a risk you don't have to take alone. Regardless of what happens... things work out.... or they don't.... you still have the faithful, never-ending love that is more than enough for you.
Yes emotions are unstable. Yes sometimes when I'm at the highest point in my life, one of my best friends might be at the lowest point of hers. And it's ok to meet her there, cry with her, feel for her. It's ok to understand that there are highs and lows, but the thing you must build your life on, is the fact that you don't have to run through those ups and downs completely blinded. There is a rock, a truth, a comforter, firm ground you can stand on.
No you don't know the outcome of the story, but you know the author. And what you know about the author is that He loves you in a deep, personal, faithful way with an unconditional love. He wants the best for you and will turn all things, highs or lows - ups or downs, out for YOUR good.

The sooner I can fully grasp that concept, humble myself, and trust solely in Him and His plan for my life, the more peaceful I can live. I think it's something Christians struggle with. But I'm determined to find the secret of faith; fully believing and downloading the knowledge of Him I have in my head, to the everyday choices and life I live from my heart. And rest there.

::They say it better than most::

Bethany Dillon and Brooke Fraser... favorites.


"For My Love" - BD
Walk towards me
I want to hear the heavens singing over you
When you breathe,
And look at me,

I want to be captured by you.

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love.
Slip your hand in mine,
Ask me to dance with you tonight.
Just ask me for my love.

I want to hide what’s deep in my eyes...
I’m scared to be known by you.
But when I turn my head,
And see you there,
I want to be pursued.

Gaze into my eyes,
And let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love.
Slip your hand in mine,
Ask me to dance with you tonight,
Just ask me for my love.

A dream I won’t wake from.
A story that will never end.
The ground your feet walk on,
Let me be there, let me be there.

"Are You Sure?" - BD
I've written you a lot of songs
The kind you write on rainy days
Unrequited love
But now I'm humming a different tune
Just twelve hours ago I was sitting on a bench with you
I've never heard of something that sweet
But are you sure you want me?

I tried to say, "I want this to work,"
And yet take off the weight...
If you change your mind, I won't hurt forever
Because I don't know what else to do.
But I'd do anything to have three more hours on a bench with you.
I've never heard of something that sweet
But are you sure you want me?

Everything within me doesn't want to risk,
Doesn't want to risk anymore.
But if it means I get to see the light in your eyes
I'll risk so much more.
I've never heard of something that sweet.
But are you sure you want me?

I won't be full of second guesses...
So now I'll just sit and think about how sweet it is.

"Love Is Waiting" - BF (favorite)
In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds,
I am thinking signs and seasons...
while a north wind blows through.

I watch as lovers pass me by,
Walking stories - "whos and hows and whys..."
Musing lazily on love...
Pondering you.

I'll give it time, give it space...

I'll be still for a spell.
When it's time to walk that way,
we wanna walk it well.

I'll be waiting for you baby,
I'll be holding back the darkest night.
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right.
Love is waiting.

It's my caution, not the cold.
there's no other hand that i would rather hold.
The climate changes,
I'm singing for strangers about you.
Dont keep time, slow the pace.
Honey hold on if you can.
The bets are getting surer now,
that you're my man.

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name.
I could live a lifetime with you, and then do it all again.
And like I can't force the sun to rise, or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart

"Without You" - BF
The sky opens up over me and you,
And you don't seem to mind that we're soaked through.
You kiss me in the rain, I forget what I'm moaning about.
And I know I wouldn't be the same without you.
I wouldn't be the same without you
I wouldn't be the same without you

I laugh at my own jokes and what I deem to be clever wit,
And you don't seem to mind that I'm so stupid.
You kiss me once again, I forget what I'm babbling about...
And I know I wouldn't be the same without you.

I couldn't replicate your touch, or love anyone again this much.
But I wouldn't be the same without you.
I wouldn't be the same
I wouldn't be the same
I wouldn't be the same without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

"Still In Love" - BF
I'm not hanging on your every word
I'm thriving on my self-sufficiency
I'm not listening to the things I've heard
About me and you

People think there must be something
to the way I talk about you every chance I get
But if I think about you night and day
Doesn't mean I'm ready yet

Maybe I am knee-deep in denial
Or maybe I'm just trying to move on
Maybe I should keep away awhile
But if distance is right I'd rather be wrong

Because I love the way you're smiling at me
When you know it's true
I'm still in love with you
And I love the way you're really trying
Not to let me see
You're still in love with me too

I am way to proud to verbalize my feelings
And you are way to mean if you just let this brew
It's a complicated hand that you've been dealing
Time to win me over: fold and make your move

Smooth some calm over this situation
I can't get past the way I feel for you
It's the little things that make this worth the effort
It's the small, little, insignificant things you do
That make me love the way you're glancing, hoping
When you know it's true
I'm still in love with you
And I love that I'm barely coping
When you let me see
You're still in love with me too
In love, still in love withIn love, still in love with
In love, still in love with you

"You Could Be The One" - BD
Could I talk to you sometime this afternoon?
About some things I know I'm reading into
Because you and me come at this differently
And I'm just trying to be honest with you
Now that I've found you in the most unexpected places
You were right in front of my face
You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be the one

Yeah, I get it
Go change the subject
But I can't forget how much this seems to fit
When you feel this way
Everything sounds so cliche
But I'll try to explain my side of this

Now that I've found you in the most unexpected places
You were right in front of my face
You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be the one

Maybe you are the kind that doesn't want to say it
I should just let you be
But maybe if I spoke up that would be enough
To give my mind some peace
You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be
You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be the one,
You could be the one

"When You Love Someone" - BD
This morning was a fight to get up
Those words still ringing in my head
Never felt like such a fool in front of anyone
I guess that's what you do when you love someone

I was in Nashville, you were driving home
I wish I'd been in the passenger seat
I just needed you to know that I'm coming undone
That's what you do when you love someone

If I fall, I'll try a little harder and get back up
Please stay by me, love
That's what you do when you love someone
That's what you do when you love someone

Just give me time, if you need more
There's no way to ever really know
How to protect yourself or predict the outcome
But you'll do anything when you love someone
You'll do anything when you love someone

If I fall, I'll try a little harder and get back up
Please stay by me, love
That's what you do when you love someone
That's what you do when you love someone

I just hung up the phone
You've got a way of changing my day
You proved me wrong
When I was convinced I was alone
Yeah, that's what you do when you love someone

If I fall, I'll try a little harder and get back up
Please stay by me, love
That's what you do when you love someone
That's what you do when you love someone

"Waste Another Day" - BF
Don't you say it's too early
Baby I don't wanna waste the day
When we've got everything on our side
And nothing in our way

We can do what we wanna
'Cos today the world is ours
Nothing gray, just real time and color
In which to whittle away the hours

We could speak 'til nothing's left unspoken
We could drive 'til we've run out of road
We could drink 'til we've emptied the ocean

But I'd be happy here
Happy just to hold you
Til the suns and planets disappear
I could stay in your arms all year
Even if that means infinity through.

If being productive is being with you
Then baby I don't want to waste another day
I'll shout aloud what I'm feeling
Let my tongue be still no more
Now I know that it's the real thing
Just try and keep me quiet about it

Oh... 'Cos we could stare until we both are blinded
We could fall 'til gravity gets tired
We could lose our love just to re-find it
But I'm just happy here
Happy staying beside you

::Psalms::

"Lord, I have given up my pride and turned away from my arrogance.

I am not concerned with great matters,

or with subjects too difficult for me.

Instead, I am

content and at peace;

as a child lies quietly in its

mothers' arms, so my heart is quiet within me.

Israel,

trust in the Lord!

Now and forever!"

~Psalms 131

::Connections::

It's amazing how the Kingdom of God works. Connections, connections, connections, people.

Who would've thought that I would have a conversation over the phone with a girl named Britany Chaney who I heard about last friday at the Mill from a girl named Erin Conner who I met randomly a few months ago because she recognized me from some pictures of me and a mutual friend, named Jill Robshaw (now McCloghry), who I met about 5 years ago at a church retreat and who now lives in Australia!!
Who would've thought that this girl that I talked to on the phone.... (brought together through all these random connections of people separated by miles of oceans and miles of time....) would be used by God in my life right now and meet me right where my heart is at and encourage me closer to Him.

Ahhhh! So thankful to You, Lord!

Remember how in the last blog I mentioned how God had been doing a little work in me, and I'd explain after a little more refinement had taken place? Well, I'm still in the process of this "burning away the ugly," but I'm going to sort my thoughts out a bit and explain whats going on in my heart.

A few weeks ago, at the Desperation Conference, I was worshipping the God of the ages with Leeland leading the way, and I really sensed His Spirit and presence in that worshipful moment more than I had in a long more... )kinda like I had sensed it back in my highschool days... Wednesday nights at _tag.) (God bless _tag!)

Well it was in that moment of worship where I started to pray, what my old youth pastor Brent Parsley likes to call, "dangerous prayers."
You know, the "Lord, stretch me. Use me. Break me. Move me. Change my heart" type of prayers... very dangerous.
(Think about it. Those words basically instigate an invitation for God to roam freely in your heart, to the deepest darkest corners of your soul, and literally clean house. Very dangerous... at times very painful... but very worth the end result.)

So I stood there. Those dangerous words spouting from my mouth... me knowing the whole time what I was in for and praying for God to bring those prayers to pass and that work to completion in my life.

Well. Lets just say He's definitely been answering those prayers.
I've been noticing more and more ugly in my life that needs to stop being ugly and start looking more like Jesus.

So much insecurity... so much doubt and lack of faith in my God... so much selfishness in my relationships with friends and my family.... so much worry.... so much pride....

So much ugly.

It also hurts when you start to realize those things have probably been lurking around in your life for a while... but you just denied them or were too proud to notice and deal with them.

Those things in my life need to go, and I'm glad the Lord revealed them to me. They stand in the way of complete joy and security that I have in even KNOWING Christ.
They stand in the way of having the best relationships I possibly can have with my boyfriend, friends, and family.
The people around me know that I need to change the ugly... but whats so amazing, is that God shows me He loves me through the way people in my life love me! The way they are so patient with my emotions, the way they hold me, stroke my hair, and tell me they're not going anywhere. The way they love me is such a perfect parallel and representation of God's love for me. It's humbling.

I hate that sometimes I deal with so much insecurity... (insecurity that was maybe built up from a previous relationship or negative situation)... that I sometimes doubt and struggle with believing and accepting love from the people that love me, and that I love, the most. Sometimes I just straight up hate the way I look. Sometimes I find me comparing myself to other people... whether comparing the physical, personality, relationships, etc.... and its all in a negative way. Sometimes I struggle with trusting the people I love, the God that I love.

Worry has also been a constant companion to me over the past few weeks...
"Whats going to happen to my relationships when I go to YWAM?"
"What does guarding your heart actually mean? How do I apply that to my relationship?"
"How am I going to get money to fund my trip?"

I'm literally psychoanalyzing every situation to come, and trying to solve "future problems" in my life... before they even exist! (IF they ever will exist!)
It's honestly the most twisted method of guarding your heart any person could've ever invented.
Like, for instance, my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm already anticipating missing him terribly while I'm gone... and that anticipation alone makes me sad... TODAY... even tho he's still here with me. (??) Confusing? Ya I dunno.

I'm crazy.

But I remember praying to God that I wouldn't be a person thats driven solely on emotions. I want to be driven and live my life according to HIS truth... not my emotions or feelings or what I believe to be true of myself at the time.

My friend Sally Ward Knepper (A friend that I also randomly met through a connection with Jill... soo crazy...) :) emailed me earlier this week and what she had to say really touched my heart and blessed me with this situation I'm dealing with in my life right now.

"The Bible was and is and always will be true. We must believe what the Bible says about us above our thoughts and feelings. What I was experiencing were lies from the devil who was trying to keep me in bondage. We often feel and "hear" things that are contrary to what the Bible says, but if we decide to believe the Bible over our thoughts and feelings, we can conquor any problem we face...... It took me applying God’s Word to my life by believing what it said about me above my feelings. For the first time I was able to experience true freedom from my problems. And I have never gone back. Sure, the devil has brought old thoughts back to me to try to discourage me, but now I know the truth. I can laugh at those thoughts now because I know in my heart who God says I am is the only thing that matters."

TRUTH!!
I want to be so grounded in that.
I'm tired of worrying about whether or not I'm going to go through another break up and have another broken heart... whether or not I'm as pretty as my boyfriends previous girlfriend... whether or not I always have the right words to say in every situation that my friends or family might be going through....

I want to live my life as a woman defined by God. Created by God. Knit together by God. Serving God for the rest of my life.


Talking to Britany today was SUCH a God-thing.
Try to imagine how awkward it must've been to never have seen/met someone in person... only through a mutual friend that you haven't even seen in 5 years... but to hear about this girl and how she did a DTS and worked on YWAM staff for the past two years... email and tell her you'd like to talk to her about YWAM if she ever go the chance... have her email you back with her number to call.... you call her and introduce yourself over the phone for the very first time... EVER.... did I mention you've never met her before... and she lives in Hawaii and you live in Colorado???
Can you just picture the awkwardness??

Well. It wasn't like that at all. :) Ha.
From the get-go, Britany was sweet, and SO welcoming to me and any questions I had. We ended up talking for about 25 minutes or so... and you have no idea how much I was blessed through that conversation.

This girl has a heart for the Lord and for missions that did nothing but encourage me to chase after Him with everything that's in me.
We told each other a little about ourselves... she explained a lot of the YWAM world to me and what I should be expecting over those 6 months... I explained to her how excited I was and some of the stuff I'd been going through.... we laughed at the fact that we both have Billy's... :) .... and she just really spoke truth over my life.
God spoke through her in ways she probably doesn't even realize. She mentioned things that were so close to my heart... things like how she had "such a distaste for the ordinary life..." (!!!!!!!!) That is something I've been feeling SO strongly, it's insane!! God spoke that to me.
She encouraged me with Psalms 131 and Colossians 3:2... that is, setting my mind on things above. Trying to view life from a Kingdom perspective, an idea I've always known... but an idea that I really needed to be reminded of right now.

Ah. So many blessings. So much truth!!

So, we got off the phone, and I felt like I've known her forever. After sharing our hearts with each other, she prayed over me and my life and my relationship with Billy, and left me completely hungry to know the Lord better.

It's random situations like these that make me laugh at how funny, and SO IN CONTROL, my God is.

He knew I needed this.
He knew I needed to speak to someone who'd lived the life that I'll be living here in about 1 month, He knew I needed the encouragement.
He knew I needed a friend who would be able to relate with what I was about to get into, kinda opening the way a little bit and easing some doubts.
He knew I needed a friend who was walking SO in His will and who was in a hot pursuit of Him, who would encourage me to do the same.

He knew, He knew, He KNOWS!!
God is so in control!!
He knows whats going to happen with me and Billy.
He knows whats going to happen at YWAM.
He knows I need to change the ugly...

He knows, He knows, He knows!! (I should write a song.) He understands. He sees what I don't. He has His best intentions for me... and He will fulfill His purpose in my life!!

So, that means, I'll rest.
I'll let Him take this time in my life... this last month or so I have before YWAM... to refine me. To break me and mold me into something that looks a little more like Him. To prepare me for all He has for me over the next 6 months. I'll trust Him to do a mighty work of patience and trust in both Billy and I.

I'm excited for the end results:)

I'm so grateful I serve a real God who's not just a piece of wood or gold. A God who loves me. Who interacts and is so evident in my life. A God who holds me in His hands and will never let me go... regardless of how many times I fall... get back up... fall... get back up....

God is so good.

___________________________________________________________
Reading: "Pursuit of Man" - AW Tozer, Romans
Listening: "Desert Song" - Jill and Brooke Fraser.

::Updates::

I haven't written a blog in a while and I feel like writing one... so... here you go. :)



So. Let's start with some....

Weekly updates: One of my best friends named Laura finally came back on Sunday from 6 months of world missions with YWAM!! We picked her up at the airport and totally surprised her... it was basically amazing. :) (You gotta love PW airport surprises...)



I've been staying busy working 32+ hrs a week at the Credit Union. I love working here... but my last day is definitely on September 3rd... as I'm going on my own little YWAM adventure!! It's gonna be so exciting. I will be living in Honolulu for 3 months... and then somewhere else for the last three!! (I started another blog about it... where I will be updating YWAM info. Look into my profile for that blog!) I'm so excited... 6 months with absolutely nothing familiar except my Savior. Looking forward to the victories and struggles that are coming in that period of my life... it should be a very "growing" stage for me.



Um... so my best friend has been in Atlanta for the past couple weeks and I miss him so much.
:( I hate being away from him. This boy is pretty much the most amazing blessing in my life right now and I hate leaving him! Then I have to do it again for 6 months... Long distance relationship. I think that might be one of the hardest things I have to deal with while being away at YWAM. He's in the Air Force though, so I guess we just have to get used to it eh? We have to be patient and view this time as "practice" for our relationship... and embrace it as so.


God is teaching me a lot about myself. Some of its been very painful to face, some of it is really humbling. But I'm growing through it. And won't stop. But those topics call for another post... on another day. After a little more refining has taken place in my heart.

::: Peace-needy:::

I think it has just about everything to do with worry.

I hate worry. And doubt.

I wish I would just free myself from those things forever and live in this perfect, secure utopia... you always know whats up, whats down, and you never worry about those solid secure things in life ever changing and in turn, messing up that perfect, security.



Every decision you make in life is a risk. Some risks are so worth taking. Others aren't as much and leave you a very broken person. The risks worth taking might not even be considered risks at all if you come at them from the angle of fear, doubt, and worry. Constantly watching your every step and every move. Constantly "guarding your heart."

Honestly sometimes I hate that term.

But right now I must go... and resolve this issue later. I leave you with this though:

God is good. No amount of worry, stress, risk, will ever change the fact that He is in control. Jesus offers peace... not like the type of peace that the world gives... but supernatural, REAL, TRUE, peace that only can come from Him and that will leave you statisfied and in awe. Search it out. And know.

::In every season::

"All of my life,
in every season
You are still God!
I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship!

I will bring praise, I will bring praise!!
No weapon formed against me shall remain!
I will rejoice, I will declare,
God is my victory and He is here."

THESE are the lyrics I've had in my head all day. Since watching my dear friend Jill McCloghry gave her testimony about one of the toughest times in her life, and then watching her STILL record the "Desert Song" on Hillsong United's newest album, I've been humbled and so grateful. Watch this:





Amazing no? It in a sense.... brought me back.

:)

I've been wading in this water of complete complacency lately. Not boredom, necessarily, but not "fired up" either. Just.... blah.
But it's been a GOOD blah in a sense...
(Ok I'm REALLY not starting to make any sense right now... let me try to explain.)

You know that time in your life when you're not really SUPER HUNGRY, but you still love Him and desire Him? You're just, complacent. Not striving, running after Him, seeking Him with your whole heart, but definitely still loving Him and keeping Him in a "close friend" range? (That is, talking to Him every once in a while, remembering Him, and still singing to Him whenever a worship song comes on your ipod.)

That's where I've been with God. Which, honestly, isn't at all where I want to be.
But the thing is that it's hard to REALLY seek after God, still always hungering and striving after Him, when everything in your life is going AMAZING!!

Stuff with family... altho a little tougher in June, has recently been awesome with parents working out a lot of issues. Granted, it's not perfect, (hello it never will be,) but it's definitely been a LOT better. Praise Jesus!

Things with friends has also been a lot better. It's so hard to have people in your life and you care SO much about, feel like you are too busy to give a crap about them. I think that's how my friends have been feeling recently because I really am so busy with work, it's easy to put them on the back-burner. But, that's not at ALL how I want important people in my life to feel. I love these girls, so so much, my friends mean so much to me and are such treasures in my life. I love them SO much and want them to know and feel how much I love them. So... I've been making more of an effort, putting aside more time to be with them and it's been awesome!!

ON TOP of all these amazing things... I've recently started dating this guy. (We'll call him Billy.) :) He's.... *sigh*..... amazing to say the least. He's made me so happy and really blessed my life. He pursued me (relentlessly.... and we all know how I feel about that. *wink*) from the beginning of our relationship, and has really been the leader of it ever since. He is constantly reminding me of how much he cares about me, and always makes me feel special. (SO SO special!) We have the most AMAZING time together, we could be driving in a car, taking a walk, or having a nice 2.5 hour conversation over chick-fil-a and have so much fun together just talking and being sarcastic. We just have fun! He's awesome. He swept me off my feet and I wanna keep him. :)

SO ya. Life's been awesome. I'm so happy. But I'm glad to be back. I have to continually learn to pursue the Lord actively.... whether I'm in a tough, needy point in my life, or on the top of the world!!
He's the most faithful, consistent person in my life.
Through every blessing I've received, He's the only one that stays.
Everything I am, and everything I wanna be, is to and through and for Him alone.
He's my rock.
He's my first love. I always want Him to sit and reign on the throne of my heart... regardless of how many extra people I let into it. :)

I want to constantly yield my life to Him, please Him in EVERYTHING I do, and never let my standard fall away from all He's called me to be.

Yes, I love being at needy points in my life, (to an extent of course.) I love being broken and SO in desperate need of Him. But at the same time... I love being happy!
But the thing is that in the happy times, when so many things are going right and it's easy to, not forget, but kinda put God on the back-burner.... its in THOSE times that I want to seek His face even more diligently.
The highs and lows.... the ups and downs.... the happy and sad.... He's still reigning on the throne forever and I still want Him to be on the throne of my heart forever and ever.

All of my life,
in every season,
You are still God!
I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship!

Needless to say... I'm SO looking forward to worshipping Him at theMill tonight. :)

::It's a Mist::

I think every once in a while, you reach a point in your life where everything is crazy.



Everything is changing, for better or for worse. You're happy one minute then bawling the next, you're confident in yourself than in the same moment you're insecure, and nothing, absolutely nothing, seems stable anymore.

Change, confusion, frustration, worry, and shock are the only words that can seemingly vaguely describe how you're feeling and what you're going through.


I can recall a couple times when I felt that way, when nothing seemed to be going right. Just sad news... after sad news... after sad news, and you just feel, well, sad. :(


Don't you wish you're life had like, a gauge or something? "Only one sad event at a time."

When something bad happened in your life that made you sad, everything else would still be perfect and give you enough emotional strength to deal with that one thing until it was better.


Unfortunately, as you and I both know, life doesn't work that way.

When someone in your family gets in a car accident and ends up in the hospital, that doesn't mean everyone else in your family is "car-accident proof" until that person gets better. Your best friend could die in a car accident the very next day. And your favorite aunt could have a miscarriage the day after that. And your grandpa can die the day after that. And your cousin could get diagnosed with cancer the following week... the same day that your sister-in-law's brother died in another car accident. Then on top of that, you slip and break both your legs and have to be in the hospital in serious pain for a few days while your whole world seems to be crashing down around you...




Ok, I got sad just reading back over that list. I would never consider myself a pessimist, but for the sake of the point I'm trying to make.... can you see? Do you understand what I'm talking about?



Life is Fragile.



God wasn't lying when He said our lives are only a mist, here one day, gone the next.

That's a hard reality to grasp. So many times we take for granted the people around us, (people who we genuinely DO love a lot even tho we might not say it all the time...) and I'm slowly realizing that, life is fragile. Don't take the people around you for granted!! They could be here today, but they aren't promised tomorrow. And neither are you.

Sorry to run off on a little tangent. That's just whats been on my heart lately I guess. Anyways.


Right now I feel like life is crazy.

Some great things, some extremely sad things.

It's hard for me to get a good, solid grasp of my emotions right now, because they are running rampant and extreme. I've cried more in the past couple weeks than I have in a while... and that's crazy to me.


A friend dies, leaving behind 4 beautiful daughters, ages 14-4. (Ugh it kills me.) :(
Family problems that keep me on my knees, trusting God.
A best friends' family problems, that completely shocked me and broke my heart when I heard about them.
Missing a best friend/sister who has been gone for 5 months and not coming back for another month.
A friend at work's sister has a stroke.
An old boss that came to church with me for the first time in 4 years and is interested in coming back!
A best friend from high school gets married a couple weekends ago... tears of joy right there.
A possible job-change that might need to take place here pretty soon, and the pain that comes with looking for a new job.
Trying to be there for another best friend who's husband (who also is your friend) cheated on her after 4 months of marriage, leaving her pregnant with a precious baby that's due in October.
JUST finding out (literally 2 seconds ago via text) that my friend is having a GIRL!! :)
Finding out in the next week what my plans in September will be. Tons of friends just got back from leading over 1000 people in Africa to Christ!
Missing somebody a lot... even tho I just them a little over a month ago.
Seeing that person this weekend for the first time after 3 long weeks.
And Friday, I have a funeral in the morning and a wedding that afternoon... get this... at the exact same church.


Ahh. Sometimes I just don't know. Sometimes I just want so many things that I can't have and wish for so many things to happen that I know are not in my control.


I've never been the type of person to hide my emotions... in fact I probably wear my emotions on my sleeves more than I should. (Minus when I'm at work... I do a kick-butt job at hiding how I'm really doing at work if I do say so myself.)
And right now the emotions that I'm wearing could coincide quite easily with the ones I described before.
Really sad. Really hurting for some very dear people in my life. Slightly confused. Really excited for my best friend to come home from Europe. Really nervous about finding out about YWAM. Really loving summer and wanting to be outside all the time. Really getting tired of working... and trying to balance that with family and being there for my brother and sister and being there for my friends.


It's just been crazy! Crazy to say the least. I feel like I'm whining right now lol... and maybe in a sense I am. I guess "venting" would be a better word.


Life is crazy right now. So many things happening and I wish with all my heart that I could just FREEZE everything around me... and give my head and heart a chance to catch up. Just, clear my head and pray.


It's so easy in a season of life like this to get so caught up with everything thats going on around you, and feel like you're going 100 mph in no particular direction.


I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why there can't be a "car-accident proof" gauge or at least something like it.

But here's what I DO know:

God is stable.
God is faithful.
God is comfort.
God is hope.
God is strength.

I know that no amount of chaos or confusion will stop Him from being completely sovereign still in my life.
I know that He knew that we'd face trials and problems of many kinds.
I know that Jesus Christ sits on the throne, ruling and reigning forever, giving us the ability to overcome our obstacles.
I know that even in the midst of pain and sorrow, there is hope. And hope does not disappoint.
I know that the Colonel for the first time in 6 months is completely healed and pain free. :)
I know that if Jesus wants me to go to YWAM... I'm gonna go.
I know that I don't need a "car-accident proof" gauge to bring me comfort when His arms are open wide for me 100% of the time.
I know that in times like these, it can be so tempting to get caught up in the emotion and just run on empty and be sad all the time.
I know that in order to prevent that, I have to surrender the fight everyday to Him and let Him switch burdens with me.


I know I can trust Him.


Whoa: Epiphany.


Go ahead and read over my last few blogs if you can.


...


Do you see a trend?


God has continually PROVEN Himself to be faithful in my life. Whether it be with relationships or family or those times when I'm just in a "whirwind of emotions." :)


He's faithful.
He's my rock.
I can cling to Him and He hasn't (and never will!) let me down!


Yes, crazy times come.

Yes, I've experienced deep confusion, pain, and sadness over these past couple weeks. And to be honest, the mourning isn't over after I write this blog, with still 2 days left until the funeral.


But what can keep me going? The hope that I have in Him. The hope that He brings. The hope that says He will turn my mourning to joy and my sorrow to dancing!


This has been really good for me. Just getting a chance to settle down my heart and refocus on reality... that is, He'll never leave me to do life by myself.



I can trust Him.


Yes I will be sad and have hard times. Yes I will feel like everything is changing in the blink of an eye and that everything I've ever known is unstable.
Yes, yes, yes.


But, it's like the thing that's covering all of those "yes's" is a still, small voice saying "Hey, I've got you Jo. I will never leave you alone. I will bind up your broken heart. I've caught your tears in my bottle. Come to me Jo, you're so weary, but I will give you rest."


_____________________________________________________________________

Listening: "Pure" - Kari Jobe (AMAZING SONG!) ::::: "Look to You" - Hillsong United
Reading: "Pursuit of Man" - AW Tozer::::: still in Romans :)

::Flying time::

OK.

Lemme tell ya, it's a really weird feeling when you watch one of your closest friends from high school (well, from 6th grade to be exact!) stand at the end of the aisle, gazing at his bride, completely in love and completely ready to make a sacred covenant with her and His God.

As I watched him stand there, tall, broad, and handsome in his tux, a few thoughts flashed through my mind.


The first being:

"... When did Daniel grow up?"

Honestly.
What happened to the little boy with glasses and a GPA of 6.9 who constantly cracked jokes non-stop? What happened to the little boy that I poured chocolate milk on all over in the middle of Mr. Leaf's 6th grade class? What happened to the little boy who I had house TPing wars with? What happened to the little boy who had a huge crush on our mutual best friend, and who I'd prank call at 11 pm and accidentally wake up his mom? What happened to the little boy who made fun of me relentlessly after I spilled orange soda on his new white carpet and tried to clean the stain with water and a red napkin? What happened to the little boy who called me sophomore year, after seeing how I was really down in the dumps for a week, and pushed me closer to God and helped me find my new "identity?" What happened to the little boy who was obsessed with guitar, basketball, God, and always said things like "Via Email" And "Spice it up a notch?"

*sigh*

Ok. After his wedding, I can honestly say I felt strangely... old. Ah.

Where did the time go? Am I really hitting the age where my peers are starting to get hitched? A few other friends who I graduated with, Mark and Wes, met me for coffee after Daniels wedding and they felt the same way: totally strange and totally old.

It's that day, June 7th, 2008 (06/07/08 if you will.) that I decided I didn't wanna grow up as much and as fast as I thought I wanted to.

Being at Daniels wedding was awesome and all, but it was also kinda sad for me. Watching him stand there, now grown into a real man, ready to provide for his bride, handsome, in love... was totally eye-opening. It's been amazing to see my dear friend grow and develop into the Man after God's own heart that he is today, but I honestly miss the old Daniel. The Daniel I could call whenever and he'd come and help me.
I mean, it's not like he's dead or anything. But he's married now, and just like I probably wouldn't like my husbands old "girl/friends" calling him every weekend to hang out... I'm sure his bride feels the same way. I totally respect that. But the fact that I respect that, doesn't make me miss the old days of just hanging out, me and my friend....

Time flies. No doubt about it. And with that said, I decided I'm not going to be so obsessed with my wedding day and for the future and what not. Don't get me wrong, I'm still stoked out of my mind to find my prince and marry the man of my dreams! I'm still going to pray for him non-stop and write letters to him and probably day-dream about him all the time... :)

But on the same token, I'm going to enjoy my life now, as a young unwed girl. I'm going to take these next few years to become fully alive in God. I'm going to stop wishing my life away into the future and seek all that God has for me today. I'm going to dream big and try to mesh my dreams into His dreams for my life. I'm going to enjoy this time with my friends and grow & cherish my relationships with both guys and girls. I'm going to cover my future husband and kids in prayer, trusting God that He holds that part of my life in His hands, and will make all of it happen in His beautiful, perfect timing. :)

Don't rush it. Live each day. And as they said in one of my favorite new movies, Kung Foo Panda:

"Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the 'present.'"

:)

________________________________________________________
- Listening: Coldplay - "Viva la Vida" & "Violet Hill" (Good stuff.)
- Reading: "Pursuit of Man" - AW Tozer... (given to me by my dear friend Mark for my birthday.) :) :::: Romans.

::Paradox::

Recently, my emotions have been nothing less than a whirlwind of craziness. God is doing some pretty weird stuff in my life that leaves me wondering outloud. In the past few days I've experienced extreme fatigue, happiness, sadness, "twitter-pated-ness," guilt, pity, romance, and pure joy. I'm so confused... more than I've been in a long time. :(
I wish life didn't have to throw so many curve-balls. I wish it just always made sense, always stayed steady. I wish I could close my eyes and know in my heart which step to take next. I wish I wasn't always such a sucker for a guy that pursued me relentlessly... and I wish I could be strong enough to let my head and my heart be in agreement before I make my next decision...

Don't get me wrong, I have a weird peace that everything will turn out right. It's not the same huge restlessness in my soul that I had about a month ago when I was breaking up with a guy that I really liked. That time was a really sad time in my life and I was frustrated and confused and kept playing the "what if" and "if only..." game. (P.S. That game is nothing short of suicidal.)
The feeling I have right now in my heart is such a paradox. I'm happy... but sad. I'm excited... but feeling slightly guilty. Why? I don't know.

I've realized SO much recently how much of a blessing it is to have good, solid, honest, amazing people in your life to speak truth over you when you're not in a healthy enough of a position (emotionally) to think for yourself.
My parents have been a real strength to me in the past few days. They're both so open and honest with what they think I should do in relationships and life in general. I love them and cherish them so much!
My best friends (well... the only ones that currently live in the same state as me) have also spoken truth over my life. Tara and Lauren have helped me see things clearly and in a different perspective than the one I'm currently viewing life in... which honestly is a really really good thing. I tend to analyze the crap outta stuff and think in an extremely impulsive manner... so it's good when my best friends can bring me back to reality and point out different events, character traits, actions, and faults in my life that I need to change or fix.
There have also been a few new Godly guys in my life that I know I can run to for advice. My friends Mark and Tony could definitely fit into that category. It's always important for any girl to have a good, Godly guy who is pursuing the Lord to speak truth into your life as well and give you really good advice from a guy's perspective. (Extreeemely important.) :)
These people have really blessed my life, and it's easy for me to open up to them because I know that they will love me regardless of my struggles or decisions. They love me unconditionally... and they show that in the way they respond or give me advice and help me throughout my situations. It's amazing and I couldn't do life without them!

So yes. If you're one of those people who likes to clam up and pretend that everythings' ok and hold all your emotions inside... you honestly should stop as soon as possible. It's not healthy. You can't think straight when you're feeling 10828 different things in 3.8 minutes. Really, I've tried and it's not possible. Find somebody that you love, or at least somebody that loves you, and tell them whats going on. Drop the pride and open up. Mostlikely, that other person doesn't have 10828 things going on in their brains like you do... so they can offer a little more clarity in your situation. :)

God put people in your life for a reason... don't try to do life without them.


ALSO::
Pray for Steven Curtis Chapman... (the singer that I quoted a whole song from a few blogs back.) A recent tragedy occured in his family, where his son accidentally ran over his youngest daughter in their driveway and killed the beautiful 5 year old Maria. :( I cried when I found out.... breaks my heart. So remember to cover their family in prayer... may the King of comfort be nearer to them now than ever before.... :(

"Trust in the Lord with all Your heart... don't rely only on what you think you know. Acknowledge Him in everything you do and He will direct your path..."
- Prov. 3:5-6

::Randomosity::

It is so beautiful today. The promise of rain hangs over the mountains and yet the sun still manages to peek through the clouds and light up the wonderful Suburbia... Colorado Springs. :)

"Good morning Sunshine... the earth says
hello!"

I am sitting at my computer at work and felt like blogging, so I'm just going to warn you this will probably be a little random. Right now a fellow teller, who's name will not be disclosed for security reasons... (*coughCorissa*cough*) just came and squirted water on me. Very professional and very business-like no? NO!!



Buaha... anyways. :) Back to the subject... which honestly is nothing. Just random. Randomosity. I like that word. Dang it, now Corissa is trying to notarize me. Ugh. She drives me crazy sometimes. And the funny thing is she is reading this over my shoulder RIGHT NOW as I type... what a geek head. Ha! :)



Oh shoot now she's crying....

my bad.



Hm what else should I write about. Well Tony, a fellow blogger and dear friend of mine, wrote this awesome story in his blog. Go read it, serioulsy. It's good stuff.


Um. Um um um.... I wish I could write a story right now. But I can't because I'm so scatter-brained at this point in time that it's not even funny! I never would consider myself ADD, but last night I went to Chick-fil-a with a new friend who is EXTREMELY ADD... (diagnosed even)... and apparently he rubbed off on me. :) Ha! Funny story about my new friend... turns out him and I are basically the same person... (minus the music deal - which to be honest is a BIG deal... *sigh* too bad eh? I guess we're done.) ... but anyways yeah we are the same person. Different genders of course, but the same person nonetheless.



I LOVE meeting new people. I LOVE meeting them and sitting at chick-fil-a for 3 hours talking to somebody who is funny and cool. I LOVE the feeling of knowing that you and the other person could have probably stayed talking for another hour if it wasn't for the fact that they needed to catch a flight in Denver... Oh such as life. :)



And today, I'm just a work. Sitting here. Giving people money, (only those who ask politely of course....) eagerly watching the clock as time ticks closer and closer to.... 5 pm. (!!!!!) The golden hour. The hour where I can peace out and NOT lose my job in the process. (That's the catch.)



Life is pretty great right now.

School is out for the summer, and now I'm working a lot more.

My family is doing great and staying busy as always. Just had lunch with my mom and dad today and enjoyed that for sure:)

My best friend is home from college for GOOD from New York City... and the fact that she lives right next door to me makes her living in the same state twice as nice. :) She's been my best friend since 6th grade... and altho she was gone this past year going to school in the Empire State Building... the kind of friendship we have is the kind where we can just pick up RIGHT from where we left off. :) The best kind of friend to have!

My other best friend is now out of her foot cast and ready to go hiking with me. (!!) Being the only one in the same town as me for the past 5 months... she is getting so close to my heart (even closer than before) and showing me so much about God's love. I'm literally falling in love with this girl! (lol not really but you know) She's amazing and such a great great friend!

My other best friend is still living it up in Minnesota, falling more and more in love with Jesus everyday and encouraging my heart more than she'll ever know. This girl is LITERALLY captivated by the living God... she lives, breathes, dances to, and falls in love more and more with Him. SO encouraging and such a blessing. :)

My OTHER best friend is traveling the world... probably somewhere in Beijing or North Korea right now... telling people about my main man Jesus. She's doing this thing called YWAM (Youth With a Mission... which is what I'm planning on doing in September!!!) and she will be returning to me in 2 months and 5 days... (AND COUNTING!!!!!) :)



A lot of stuff going on in the "relationship department" has recently been resolved and now we're just working towards a strong, solid friendship. Which is really nice. :) Not many people I know can break up with somebody and still be friends, get along, and have a lot of fun hanging out together. What a blessing! God is so cool...


Ok. Seriously I'm done. I don't know why I even started to be honest... lol. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed my scatter-brained-ness....

::Rain::

RAIN.

:)

I love it. (loveloveloveit)

Today's weather could easily be classified as "the first rain of the year."
FINALLY!
It was beautiful. God started making it last night... and was kinda even showing off a bit! (what a big show-off huh?) :)
As I stepped out of my car getting home late last night... I quickly became addicted to the fabulous smell of rain that hung in the air. I sat on my front porch for a little bit, gazing at the storm in the night sky, and finally began to realize how magnificent lightning actually is.

Picture this: 10 pm: A pitch black sky that was COVERED by thick, dark, rainclouds... rainclouds that could only be seen when illuminated by the flashes of lightning streaking across the sky. Random bursts of pure light in a thick, dark, blackness. Soooo humbling...

I love rain.
The smell, the feeling. The fresh and cleansing vibe it gives. The romance of it all. (After all... there's nothing like kissing in the rain...) =)

Have you actually ever really danced in the rain? So many people say "Oh my gosh I LOVE LOVE LOVE dancing in the rain..." yet I bet you if we took a poll about 30% of those people honestly HAVE actually danced in the rain. (lame...)

My best friend Lauren lives next door to me, and last summer during a lovely light rain storm, I called her up and we met outside on the sidewalk SMACK DAB in the middle of our houses... and danced.
No music.
No anything really.
Just me, my bestie, and pouring rain.

...

needless to say it was magnificent. It was my first time and I guarantee you NOT my last. It was totally "free-ing." (Is that a word???) Dancing in the rain is everything it's worked up to be. Try it sometime. Honestly, go outside, let your hair down, feel the cold, wet pavement beneath your bare feet, and really try it.

Hmm... totally random today. Just some thoughts. A little "Ode to Rain" if you will.... :)

::Reflection::

Dear World.
This is so weird.
So... just to jump right into the oddity that has recently occured... I've heard the same story twice in a span of one week, and I'm beginning to think I need to bend my life around it. I first heard it Monday night at a meeting called FCA, a girl was giving her testimony and included this story to help describe what God had been teaching her. It was pretty benthic.
THEN.
This morning, as I'm sitting at work, the CEO of my company, who is also like a second father to me, called me up and asked to see how I was doing as he had just heard the news of some recent events that have taken place in my life that might give me reason to be sad... and as I'm sitting here, on the computer, at the beginning of my work day... he shares the EXACT SAME STORY with me!! :)

God is so funny.

So. I felt like blogging it out and sharing my heart. Basically the story goes something like this:

There is a Christian writer who calls up
this Blacksmith and wants to see how he purifies silver and
gold. At first the blacksmith declined, but then finally agreed to let
this writer in on the procedure. The writer goes in to observe the process and is amazed at what he discovers:
First, the blacksmith took the silver and
put it in the hottest part of the fire. The writer observed as the
blacksmith kept it in the hottest part of the fire for quite a little while. He then asked the blacksmith when he knew the silver was completely purified and could then take it out of the fire... and the blacksmith replied, "I know the silver or gold is completely pure when I can
see the reflection of my face in it."

...

Ok so my story-telling skills are not far off from completely lame... and I wish you could hear this story being told in person... but regardless, it really touched me. I hope you can maybe see the parallel in the way God sometimes relates to us. Sometimes we may feel like God might be putting us through "the hottest part of the fire..." and it sucks. It hurts. It's painful. Maybe physically; maybe emotionally.
It can leave us questioning God.
It can even leave some in a state of being really angry at God.
Why would He do this to me? How could He let this happen? What did I do to make God angry at me?
...

All the while He's just up there, locking His gaze on us moving, pushing, polishing and refining; dying to see His reflection in our lives. He wants us to be like Him. He wants us to conform ourselves into His image. I love that. :)
So the whole time we're down here, wallowing in our self-pity, feeling lonely, depressed, upset, and completely helpless. God's up there, His hand fully on us, guiding us, holding us, changing and conforming us into the people He wants us to be.

And I can promise you... the outcome is better than our current state. (Pinky promise.) :)

So ya. Life's confusing right now. I'm horrible at remembering that I don't know what the future holds... will never know what the future holds.... and knowing in my heart that it's probably better that way.
But it's ok. I wouldn't say that what I'm going through in my life right now can be compared to something like the "hottest part of the fire..." but it definitely is a struggle for me. It's something that could definitely be considered a burden and is something I hate having to deal with.
But it strengthens me. It grows me. It leaves me more dependant on God than if everything in my life was perfect. It keeps me *needy*.... which I'm discovering is a place I always want to be in my life.

I was sitting at work today and started writing this on a piece of paper. Its pretty much just a bunch of Bible Verses - promises if you will - that are all bundled into one little heart-cry. :) Here's what I wrote. And I decided I'm going to continue doing this... because when you put the verses together it becomes more than just words you can recall from memory, but it becomes actual TRUTH and flows and can really become what your heart really feels! Amaaaazing:)

Dear Lord,
I'm going to trust in You with all of my heart.
I'm not going to lean on the things that I understand.
I acknowledge you in everything I do, and trust in You alone to direct my path because You know the plans You have for me.
You plan to prosper me, give me hope, a future, and keep me away from harm.
You've given me all I need for life and Godliness, and You will fulfill Your purpose for me.
You give me the desires of my heart as I delight in You.
You will never leave me or forsake me.
You lift me high on wings like eagles as I wait on You.
You are my strength and my shield.
You hide me in the cleft of Your rock and I can rest under Your wing.
You knit me together in my mother's womb and know the number of hairs on my head.
You think about me more than the number of stars in the sky, and have formed me in Your image.
Your banner over me is Love.
I receive everything I need when I first seek Your Kingdom.
You can move mountains, walk on water, and overcome sin and are mighty to save.
My soul finds rest and peace in You alone, Lord, and I rejoice in the fact that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other thing can EVER separate me from Your love. :)

*I'llbeback*
_________________________________________________________
Listening: "Hide and Seek" - Imogen Heep//// "Holy" - Jason Morant (a new favorite...)
Reading: "One thing you can't do in heaven" - Mark Cahill. (A book about evangelism... pretty good stuff.) "Pursuit of God." - Tozer. (I can read this book over and over and over again...) Romans, 1 John.